Prayer.

I want you to go back and re-read that title. Don't just glance at it as just another word, read it for the strong and powerful statement it is. Prayer. P. R. A. Y. E. R. There is nothing else like it in this world. It will change a mind, change a heart, change a life, change a person, or a group of people, it will change a situation, bring peace, bring forgiveness, change a nation, and change the world. There are very few things that come close to being as fulfilling as prayer.

If you had direct access to the person who made all of the important decisions not only in your life, but in your country, and the world you live in what would you request? What would you talk to them about? If you really could discuss the issues, and become part of the deciding factor in the way the world works what would you do? I will tell you that this is exactly what prayer is. We are able to speak directly to our Creator, the King. We can give Him our thoughts, our problems, our reasoning, or simply ask Him a question.

There are many different kinds of prayer, there is the prayer that you say as you go to sleep, or as you pray before a meal, a simple note of thanks. There is prayer in a meeting, when we thank Him for all he has done. There is prayer for wisdom and strength, there is prayer for grace, the kind of prayer that we have in our usual daily lives. Then there is deep prayer, the earnest seeking for guidance, for healing of a loved one. The kind of prayer that we pray when we don't know where else to turn. There is intercession, this is the prayer when we so seek the will and throne of God that we cannot, and will not stop until we have gained the peace to continue our lives. But yet, there are still two more kinds of prayer that I believe are the most important. One is corporate prayer. This is when two or more people gather together with the express purpose of praying and seeking the heart of God. It is in this prayer that God is able to bring strategy, to begin to change families, to bring things about. This kind of prayer penetrates your skin and gets into your blood. There is nothing like it, the only other thing that will bring you into the presence of God as quickly as corporate prayer is corporate worship. And lastly there is praying on tongues. I am saddened by the debate about this in the church today, because it is the one thing that can sustain you when you don't know what to pray. 

In essence, praying on tongues is when the Spirit of God that lives in you speaks with God in Heaven, and the two commune. Did you know that you could do that? You have the ability to connect with God in a way that nothing on earth but a human being can. When you don't know what to pray, pray in tongues, the Jesus inside of you knows what to pray. Speaking in tongues is a work of the Spirit, it cannot be forced, or even really truly mimicked, it is a release of your heart into the demention of Heaven. I will tell you that I am speaking from experience, these are not just words that I am typing. I don't have time to really tell you all that is in my heart to let you know, my heart is just to exhort you to stir up your prayer life, don't just say a prayer in the morning and one at night to cover your bases. If you will take the time to really begin to pray, you will find that your life will be utterly and completely altered. You will not be the same. Don't just think a prayer, don't just "feel the love", although those things are nice, they are nothing compared to the power that comes when you connect with Jesus. 

So stop, pray, and see what happens.

Beauty?

I am very white. It is actually kind of amazing. I want to tell you how liberating it is to be in a place where I can go into three stores that don't even go up to my size and still be considered beautiful. I want to tell you how liberating it is to not have a scale, and even though you know you have lost a little weight, it is because you feel better and your clothes don't fit the same and not because numbers staring up at you relentlessly. I want to tell you how nice it is to be looking out the window and have everyone smile at you. 

I want to tell you how hard it is to see women who are not allowed to show their faces. I want to tell you how difficult it is to see women ashamed of being dark. I want to tell you how sad I am when I see women who will do and buy anything to anything to be considered beautiful...and I want to tell you that the pressure of physical perfection in the States is in fact oppression. 

If we saw a woman who had her feet bound as a child so that they were only three inches long we would be astounded. If we saw a woman who had put rings around her neck all of her life in order to stretch it out so that it was over 3feet long we would be ashamed, and yet, we do not realize that half of the teen age girls in America have eating disorders. We spend billions of dollars trying to look right, thousands of hours in front of the mirror.

I am not saying that we should not be concerned with our health...we need to eat right (not nothing) and exercise, just like we need to brush our teeth to keep our mouth healthy, and go to school to keep our brain healthy. What I am saying is that if women want to be liberated they should not try and act like men, they should not try and be perfect at everything. It is like they said "Ya I'm liberated, so now instead of doing what I can do and like to do I am going to do everything the same except I am going to do the mans job too." 

I like being beautiful, I like feeling beautiful, I am beautiful, but there were times when I thought that for anyone to be interested in me would be ridiculous unless I lost 30lbs.  This is not right. 

There are many things that I could be telling you about my trip, about how I am doing and what I am doing. About the people that I am with, but this issue has been on my heart and in my mind, and I just thought I would put it out there for you to think about, I don't know, perhaps it will inspire you to change the world, or perhaps it will inspire you to smile at yourself in the mirror instead of scowl, because I know you, and you are amazing!

School

This week, I officially started to teach English at Destiny Institute. It is a small school, I make the 3rd teacher, and what a time I had of it. We would start every day with the "pledges", where we would pledge to the Bible, to the Christian flag, and they would pledge to the Indonesian flag as I stood politely by. Then we would spend half an hour singing, mostly praise songs that made the children laugh, but we always ended the singing with worship. (It helps that the worship leader is one of the teachers =) ) After that the older kids would separate from the younger kids, and we would have devotion time. It is a different characteristic each week, and the schedule is three Bible stories Mon-Wed, Thursday the teacher gives an example from their own life and then Friday the kids give their own examples.

From 9-10 the children work in their own cubicle, and the teachers (including me) go around and help them with any questions that they have. During this time I have mostly been employed by helping with pronunciation. Then there is a break for juice, and then we work until lunch at noon. After lunch is where I am beginning a speaking class. It is a half an hour time when we generally play games that get the children to speak in English, games like Simon says, or a game where you have to list everything in your lunch bag, but the things on the list must go from A to Z (ex. I have an Apple in my bag, then the next person says "I have an apple and a bouncy ball in my bag" etc.) During the times that I am not busy teaching, I have been studying Indonesian, I figure that it is probably as good of a time as any.

As for life here at the compound, this week I got up Mon Wed and Fri to join the prayer at 5am, although it is difficult with the language barrier, my friend Melda (who is teaching me Indonesian) has been kind enough to come along and translate for me, although she is not a morning person. I have discovered that I love the early mornings here, it is so quiet and beautiful, and yet it is so bursting with life. The students here all head from the prayer to their chores, so everywhere you go there are students working and they often sing to themselves as they do. 

When I get back from school, I have a few hours to myself in which to do any praying or reading or whatever it is that I need to do. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for this time! Then, we get on with the evening schedule, which can be anything from English classes here at the compound, a concert, a meeting, or dinner in Salatega.

I think that this whole thing has been just as good for me as it has been for them. The work has not been particularly hard, the days have not been too long, the sleep I get has been sufficient, but it seems that I am completely worn out. There is just something about being in a new place that has drained me. I have only been here for a few weeks, and it seems as though I have been here forever. There is so much that needs done, and sometimes I feel that I am not the person to do it, but then I remember that I was invited here, that God picked me to be the one to come and teach. He has been so amazing, every time that I feel down or lonely, or insufficient, something happens, I read a scripture that says exactly what I needed it to, or someone says something that reminds me why I am here. So I guess that you could say that it is one more way that I am in school, for the Lord is ever teaching me to trust him. To lean completely on Him, and to let Him do with me as He pleases, and I am learning that often times, what He wants is what I want too.

Apa? What?

Probably the most difficult thing that I have encountered so far is the language barrier. I spoke in an earlier blog about the fact that we have to connect at a deeper level, and that through Jesus, we can. There is however, something to be said about the instant communication you have with the people that you can easily express thought to. Though there are more than enough people here that speak English to keep me out of trouble, there are really only a handful, even here on the compound. I enjoy listening to the tones and patterns of Indonesian, but it is simply not the same as understanding the conversation. 

One thing that I have learned through this experience is really how interested I am in what people say. I have found myself saying more than once, not just "What did he say?" but "What would he say? What kind of interaction am I watching here." It is really relatively easy to figure out if someone is telling a joke or if they are talking business, but what kind of a joke would they tell? So often we take advantage of the fact that we can understand people, and if not them per-say, we at least know what they said, and what kind of thing it was that they said.

Learning Indonesian is obviously going to help, and helping the people around me to speak better English will help as well. This is convenient as those are the two primary reasons that I came, but at the same time, language takes a long time to learn. I have always liked the idea of being a linguist, on my ambitious days I would love to learn 10+ languages, but reality can be harsh. Though I have not studied it very much yet, language is difficult for me to remember, and I know that only by the grace of God will I be able to speak Indonesian relatively well when I head home. Thankfully we work for a God who is good and kind, and who happens to work in miracles, I have hope.

The last paragraph seems to be just some thoughts thrown at the paper. Never the less, no matter how well written, I see the long dark tunnel, the light at the end, and the train behind the light. I guess my best option is to hop on the train and see where it takes me. Who knows, maybe I will learn something on the way...