Righteousness?

I have just written a blog ranting about my feeling about what happened in Colorado; I have been heart sick all day, upset at America and the lack of righteousness in the world....in my blog I demanded change, but I don't think that is really what I wanted to say. I think what I really wanted and honestly, what I need to do is to remind you of His righteousness, His mercy, His justice, and His grace.
We serve a miraculous God. The two most offensive things about Him are His mercy, mercy on those who deserve death and hell fire, and His justice to those who are "good enough" to reject His mercy. I think often times we forget that we serve a God who cares about the world much more than we do. We forget that though we have recently been forced to remember evil, and the destruction it brings to our otherwise normal lives, He came to earth, this small broken planet, and lived and died in the midst of that evil, that we...we small pieces of dust in the wind might just find a glimmer of light. Yet not just a glimmer, but a whole sunrise. C. S. Lewis said, "We believe not because a god exists, but because this God exists."
So what do we do? How do we go on living this life that He gave us, how do we not waste the precious years, and what can we do to combat the evil we too often see? I believe that the answer is to stop arguing about the petty, to remember that this is about so much more than that. This earth, and our lives on it really are about Him, they are about the fact that an ultimate being so wanted to love and be loved that He put His life, literally His breath, His essence into the dust to create man. Most of us do not, indeed we cannot understand the depth of His love. I believe that today His heart is grieving for the evil that has taken place...not just in Colorado, but in Chicago, in Taipei, in South Africa, in the broken home of a 14 year old girl who hates her father and holds her mother in contempt. Or in the life of someone who has it all, but cannot understand what truth really is.
It is to these people that we must go, we cannot go to them if we are arguing among ourselves, or if we are afraid to step out of our doors. Yet, He has asked us to go, He beckons us to accompany Him as He shows them a new way. It may be crazy and weird, but that is only because we are not used to it. It's not about preaching to them, or finding out all about their sin. It is about showing them a way out of their pain, about helping them to see the good and beauty in life. Not the tainted beauty of the world, but the true beauty of what is good and right and true. The beauty of innocent love, of creating something with your own two hands, the beauty of helping someone because you want to. I read the Bible not because I must, but because it is a miraculous and beautifully written book. The nature of God in it has the power to change you forever.
Perhaps today as you say your prayers and go about your errands you can remember that life is a thing worth living, because there is a God who is worth loving, and it is in His love that evil will fall, because there is a light that shines in the darkness, and that light is the life of man. He came in love, that He might be broken, that we might be saved. If we will begin to understand this, then perhaps, one day, others will too. 

My Mom

Todays blog is about my Mom. It is her birthday today, and I have spent the whole day praying for and thinking about her, and I just wanted to tell you all some things about her. My mom is one of the most selfless people I know. She rarely does anything for herself, and she is always thinking about and doing everything she can for us kids. She always shows love, kindness and forgiveness, and whats more, she is full of wisdom and grace. I am constantly amazed. She always tells us that "when a kid is being really bad, what they need is a hug." and then there are times when you are the one that is being bad and don't even know why, and she gives you a hug. She always practices what she preaches. She has never once said something negative about her children that was not meant as a loving correction. 

Although it has not always been easy, we have had our share of struggles, she has always remained positive, and taught all of us to be thankful in every circumstance. There have been times when I had no clue what to do, and I will ask her advice, and in one sentence she has done away with my problem. My mom is not the kind of person that thrives in the crowd, or one that has grace for people to go on and on about their problems, but I have seen her be very gracious in both situations. Her heart is always  to do what is right and good, and to follow the Lord, even if that means that she has to do something that looks silly or stupid, or even offensive to some people. 

She has changed the lives of many people, and has asked nothing of them but that they seek the Lord and do what He asks of them. I hope one day that I can be a mother like her. I just wanted you all to know that.

Bandung

I have been here now for almost a week, and it has been a wonderful experience. I have been re-adjusting to the culture and the way of life here, and I am finding that it is not as hard as I was thinking that it would be. There have been a few challenges...getting used to having chilly first thing in the morning and things like that, but for the most part it has been pretty good. 

We have been in a neighboring city called Subang for the past few days visiting Vonnys' family and helping them with their business. We passed a hill after hill of tea gardens, and yesterday we went to a waterfall to go swimming. I believe that there are some things that really are worth an hour and half in the car for 15 minutes in the water. There really is nothing quite like it. At the Tea Gardens

I have been so appreciative of Vonny and her family, they have not made me feel in the way, or like they did not want me here, in fact they have been having fun trying to figure out which English word to use in order to say what they want to say to me. I have really been enjoying my time. It has been a lot of laughter, food and bran new experience mixed with re-visitation of things that I enjoyed the last time. 

Today we are headed back to Bandung, and will possibly take a side rout and see the volcano here. I am really not sure how the rest of my time here will pan out, but I have no doubt that it will be good. I have had some really good times of prayer, and I have also made some really good connections with the people here.  I love and miss you all and I am praying for you all the time. I will post again soon. Love, Steph. 

First Thoughts

I am finally back! It took me a while, roughly 38 hours of traveling before I got here, but here I am. My emotions have been a little up and down, missing family, wondering what the heck I am doing, and utter joy and excitement to be here. I did not realize how much I really love it. I was talking to my mom last night and telling her that there are many things not to love about Indonesia, and yet I love it. Of course there are still other places that I want to go, and there are some things that I will have to get used to again, but for now, I am happy.
After getting off the airplane in Jakarta I made it pretty quickly through immigration, and with a little more difficulty, found my friend Meidy who was to pick me up. We got something to eat, and then got on the bus to head for Bandung....which, due to traffic, took us five hours instead of the allotted two and a half. Yesterday was mostly resting, and a little bit of time out and about, and I think today will be similar. I don't usually have jet lag, but I think I do a little bit this trip. It is hard for me to sleep past 6:30, and I start to really want to go to bed around 8pm, but hopefully that won't last long.
I have a nice little room here, and though I don't know the day to day plan I think that it will be a really good three weeks here in Bandung. I am remembering the language, and the way daily life goes, and I don't think it will take me long to get back into the flow of everything. I know that this would not be possible without your support and prayers. I love you all very much. Talk to you soon. View outside of my window.

My Trip So Far

Well, thus far it has been a pretty amazing trip. It started out about 6am when I headed to the airport in Maui. The schedule was to fly to Honolulu, then to Tokio, then Teipai, and, after a long lay over I am headed (of course) to Jakarta. I was not worried about any of this except that I was not sure if I would have to pay extra for my bags, and that I was going to have to get my luggage at the baggage claim in Honolulu and then re-check in to get on the flight to Tokio....and I only had 2 hours.

I was not too worried, I figured that I would have just about enough time, until I saw the check in line at China Air. It was long. Fortunately it was going fairly quickly, but I knew that it would still take a while, and that there would probably be another line at security. It did not take too long, and I quickly went up to the counter where she did not charge me for my bags, and not only that but she saw the time on my ticket and decided to give me a "gold stamp" that allowed me to go into the fast lane. This was a very good thing, because the line was long. For me it just proved Gods goodness, and plus it felt really cool to be a "priority" person.

The flight from Honolulu to Tokio was just over 7 hours, not bad, but I was glad to get off. One thing that amazed me was that the decent into Tokio was one of the most beautiful that I think I have ever seen. The decent into Honolulu was not bad either, by the way, but there was something about it. I had never seriously considered Japan. I have thought about it on several occasions, as a place that I would like to visit, but now I am quite sure that it is on the list. Honestly I enjoyed my entire hour and a half that I was there.

Just one more word about "decents" is that the past couple of times that I have flown into Taipei I have been struck by how flat it seemed to be. This time, however, I believe that we are at a different airport, as coming into the city we saw tons ob absolutely beautiful mountains. There were peaks just above the clouds that had one building on top of them, just like a movie. There was a hazy mist everywhere, and the city itself spreads over miles and miles, and parts of it were seperated by these mountains.

Now here I sit until my next flight. I am in a comfortable aria that has a little cafe, a movie playing, showers if need be, lots of comfortable seating, and obviously free internet. I will update again after I am in Jakarta. Perhaps something that you can be praying for is that I may have strained my back, it is not too bad but it is pretty sore. I have been resting it and am expecting to be fine in a day or two. (If nothing else I will get a massage in Bandung)

Anyway, I am good, getting really excited about going back to the beautiful country I have come to love, and though I miss all of you, I am looking forward to the very near future. Love and blessings.

Last Day

It is my last day here in Maui, here in America, and I find that I am not as scared as I thought I would be. I am really looking forward to being back in Indonesia, and am beginning to get really excited. I went back and read some of the things that I had written about Indonesia when I was there the last time and it reminded me of what I loved about being there. 

The country itself is just full of life and color and music. There always seems to be music playing, and people are always in the middle of doing something. I found out that a friend will be picking me up at the airport, and things seem to be working out quite well. I have enjoyed my time here in Maui, I think I needed some alone time. Actually, I was thinking about it and I realized that I have not had any alone time at all since I left the first time. While in Salatiga I was living on a compound, and in a foreign country I couldn't just walk the streets until I knew the language just a little better. When I got home I was sleeping on the couch, in the middle of everything until I came here. The first week was spent going everywhere with everyone, and so this week of being, for the most part, alone, has I think really done me some good. I have had a chance to pray and get my heart where it needed to be, and now I can just focus on the thing at hand. Which, just happens to be getting on an airplane tomorrow morning and heading to Bandung to rest, play, spend some time voluntarily teaching, and get re-acquainted with Indonesia herself. 

I had a chance to skype with one of my friends in Indonesia the other day, and I began to crave the food and the smells, and everything that Indonesia is. I feel that I am very blessed to have a place that I so love, and to be able to go and spend time there. There are of course, other places that I would love to go and visit, and I will get my chance, but for right now I am just thankful that I am going at all. 

Home will be missed. I already miss my family and the cool weather, I don't think I would have been able to do this if it were not for modern technology. In my solitude I have had a lot of time to think, I wrote a poem today, and I just thought I would share it with you. It doesn't rhyme, but it is what my heart was saying this morning, so here it is: 

Called

The sea does not call my name like some people, 

Neither does the land cry out.

The people often beat their drums to another tune, 

And I am lost to land and sea and man.

Yet, the Father does know my name.

He has called me, 

To a land and a people across the sea.

He is the one who will connect their souls to mine,

And then will my heart be thine.

So there will I go, 

To a much distant shore, 

A new place once again.

Not for the sake of land or sea or man, 

But for the Father who sent, 

And for the soul to receive. 

There will I go until the Father calls me once again. 

4th of July Celebration

What a wonderful day I had yesterday celebrating my (our) Independence. I spent the morning with my cousin Grace, we had wonderful acai bowls for breakfast and then moseying about in Barns and Nobel. I had a plan in my head about what I wanted to do that night, but more often than not our plans change when we are living life, and last night mine did. 

I had planned to go home, change, and go find Peter and Grace on the beach where they were surfing and watching fire works with them. I have always liked to spend holidays with family, so that was exactly what I was going to do. I went home, put on a really cute outfit and headed to Front St where the fireworks would be. As I got close I realized that it would be a good idea to get my dinner before going out to find them, but as it was a holiday on a really busy street there was nothing available, so I walked a block in the opposite direction and settled for tacos instead of BBQ. As I sat there and thought about how much I like the tradition of eating burgers or BBQ on the 4th, I began to think about the fact that here in America there are many many families who have come from many different countries and set up little shops like the one I was sitting at. I thought of the ethnicity of  all of the people around me. The ability to have tacos instead of BBQ suddenly became a privilege and I felt that I was better celebrating my and their Independence by eating food from another country. 

After dinner I wandered around for a while looking for my friends, but as I wandered it began to grow dark and I knew that there was a likely chance that I would not find them in the middle of the crowd in the dark, so perhaps it was better to just watch the fireworks alone and catch up with them later. Normally I would be upset by doing this kind of thing by myself, I generally prefer to be with people when celebrating, but for some reason this time I was kind of excited to experience this by myself. Perhaps it was the fact that I could sit anywhere I liked, I could eat, or not, if I wanted to. It almost seemed like I was realizing my own personal independence, and at the same time I felt Jesus right there with me the whole time. 

After a while I found a spot that I liked and then decided that I was going to find a place to get some ice cream and really enjoy myself. It took a while to find a place with a line short enough to even make it worth while, but eventually I did and I had some wonderful pineapple and coconut ice cream. I went back to my spot (by now much more crowded) and waited for about 2 minutes before one of the best fire work shows I had ever seen began. It was beautiful. The fire works were right over the ocean, they were big and loud and beautiful, and everyone around me was having a good time. The show lasted about 15 or 20 minutes, and then I headed home. When I got here I figured that it would be the end of the night so I took off my shoes and started a movie, after a quick check in with my cousin for communication sake. When the movie was almost over she sent me a message asking me if I wanted to go dancing..... um... yes. 

So, I finished my movie, put my shoes back on and walked down the street again, and found the place that we had decided to meet. The music was a little too loud and the people were obviously on their 3rd round of drinks, but I was happy to be able to go. Honestly, though our freedom as a country is beginning to lessen, we still do have some. We did not stay long, or dance very much, but we went, and we danced. We had a lot of fun, and I can't help but think that even though I miss my family very much, and even though this 4th of July did not turn out the way I thought it would, it was one of the best I have ever had, and I am so thankful for the freedom and independence that I have as a person, even the freedom to go and dance without being self conscience. So many of those people were drinking because they felt that they had to fulfill social obligation (but that is another whole blog, so I will save it for later). This was, I think one of the best 4th of July Celebrations that I have had in a very long time. So, thanks and glory be to God for this wonderful country that we still have. Thank you to the troops that are still fighting for her freedom. Thank you to the visionaries and few good men in politics who work so hard to maintain what we have. And thanks be to God for all that He has given us in this country. And thanks to that Jewish-Russian immigrant who so plainly put it, "God bless America. Land that I love. Stand beside her, and guide her, through the night with the light from above. From the mountains, to the prairies, to the oceans white with foam. God bless America, my home sweet home." 

Beach Thinking

What a week it has been! We have been on the go from wake up to bed time every day. With the exception of Friday and today, we have spent every day at the beach, swimming and snorkeling and sunbathing...or in my case turning into a lobster the first day and then spending the week swimming snorkeling and applying sunscreen while sitting as close to the shade as I can get. I have seen a ton of fish, some beautiful coral and rock and a couple of friendly sea turtles. It has been so amazing. 

Friday we took "the road to Hana" Hana is Hawaiian for Heaven, but the road to get there is chocked full of God's wonders. The first stop was a bamboo forest, and a short hike into the forest brings you to a magnificent waterfall that you could swim under if it weren't so powerful.  Truly amazing. We passed at least 30 waterfalls on the way, but only swam in the one. We stopped at a little shop that sold coconut ice cream, not coconut flavored ice cream, literally ice cream made out of coconut milk, coconut meat and coconut sugar. Also amazing. Then we came to the rainbow eucalyptus trees which are naturally brown and red and green and yellow, absolutely beautiful. Finally we reached Hana which was a lovely little town that still had streets and walls built by the ancient Hawaiian culture. On the way home we swam in a beach that had unbelievably aqua blue water and plumaria trees all around. 

This is the bamboo forest

On a more personal note, this has been a very interesting week. I have been under a lot of stress to get everything done and figured out, finances have been stretched a bit, and trying to figure out how everything will work with my visa has been difficult. My student visa will take a few more weeks to come through, but thankfully I still have a few months left on my social visa so I can still get into the country without a problem. It has been a very interesting task to balance the planning and faith aspect of everything that is going on with the fact that I am swimming with sea turtles and drinking out of coconuts. It finally got to the point where I had to simply stop and have some deep prayer to figure out what I needed to do. I was uncomfortable with doing something that could so potentially be offensive to people, to be here on Maui when things are still working themselves out, but then the tiniest phrase came to me. "God's fool." I had often thought of this phrase, but had never applied it to what I was doing until now. I had been telling myself that if God had not so blatantly been the one to set this up, then I would not have done it, and I kept thinking about how things "should have gone" but when I realized that this messy thing that I am in the middle of is God at work, showing people that things don't have to be perfect, and in fact sometimes you have to step way out on a limb it was as though it was suddenly ok. I am still trying to figure out what is the best and wisest way to handle the situation, but I am not nearly as stressed as I was. I have realized that God sent me to Maui for a reason, and that He is the one that is sending me over to Indonesia, and not only that but He is the one who picked the date (cause honestly, I didn't). 

So, with new found faith in what I am doing, and who I am doing it for I will embark on a whole new week here on Maui. This week will be entirely different than last week was. Last week was spending time with family (who is now gone) in a hotel and just hanging out. This week I am in a hostel (so please be in prayer for that) although it is a good one I think, the manager does not like people with an attitude and I already like the people I am bunking with. My cousins that I am visiting here will be back at work, so I will have much more time to myself. My plan is to rest and pray before heading on to Indonesia next Sunday. So, I hope you all will be praying for me this week, I will keep you updated on things as I can. I am confident and scared, but I know that God is with me. I send you all my love. Aloha.