Going Home

The time has finally come to go home. One week from today I will board a plane headed for LA, and I will leave my beloved Indonesia...for now. This whole thing has been bitter-sweet. I have tried to find a phrase that better describes it, but have yet to find one. For, although it is bitter, I am heartbroken to leave my friends and all that I am doing here, the bitterness is not overwhelming for the sweetness of having somewhere to go home to, and the loving family that I left there. 

I spent all last week saying goodbye. I had a swimming and karaoke party with all of my friends in Destiny, which was a blast, and a good way to spend time with them all. I spent my last night in Penuai at the girls dorm watching movies and singing songs, and I got to spend Idul Fitri, the end of Ramadan, in town with my friend Rio, her husband Elia and their son Mavvo...we went to Pancasila (town square) and played with glow in the dark toys while watching a night parade in which all of the floats were made to look like mosques and were covered in LED lights, and at the same time there were fireworks going off in all directions. We ate fried rice with pork (kind of funny considering the event) and drank milk tea and ate Martabak, which is like an egg cake. I went to dinner with Ps. Sam and his family, and then I spent the whole way from Salatiga to Jogja with Uthe before getting on the train to come to Bandung. 

Saying goodbye was not as hard as I thought it was going to be, until after I was on the train. As soon as I was on my way I realized that I was not coming back, at least not for a while, and that is when I started to get emotional. 

I know that God has new and good things planned for me, and I also know that it really is time for me to go home. I can feel the release, and know that it would not be good for me to stay here any longer....but there is a piece of my heart that will always be in Indonesia, no matter where else my travels take me, who else I meet, and what other amazing adventures I have. Indonesia, you will always be my lovely memory, my dear friend, and my constant teacher. Though you and I had some rough spots, I will never forget you, for as long as I live. America, though Indonesia is my love, you are my country...I will see you soon. 

Steph

4th of July

I have just celebrated my very first 4th of July outside of the country. I have been here in Indonesia for almost two years, but managed to spend this particular holiday in Maui last year, so this was my first time. Last year I remember walking the streets by myself, eating ice-cream and watching the fireworks over the ocean. I thought about how glad that I was to be an American, and how far we had come from when out country was new; I celebrated being an independent young adult, and new that whatever the future held for me it would be good. 

One year later, although in essence not much has changed, everything has changed. I went to a party with other Americans, I had ribs and baked beans and apple pie, we lit off fireworks, and a group close to us sang patriotic songs....I had two thoughts, 1: Isn't it kind of rude to celebrate the fact that we are not a part of this culture while we are living here? and 2: Without America (particularly when we set off the bomb in Japan at the end of WW2 which is the reason that Indonesia gained independence) none of this would be here, the way that it is. It was a very interesting mix of pride in my country and it's affairs, and all that it has done for the world, and also a realization that if I am going to be a missionary that patriotism, while good, cannot be part of who I am and what I do. 

I love America, I am proud and blessed to have grown up there, and be an American, but at the same time my life cannot be about American culture. I come here and I see groups of "bules" or "White people" who stick together, have "American" parties, and have no relationships with the local people at all, they would rather make sure that their children grow up to be 'American' and appreciate their own culture than 'expose them' to other things, other ways of life, and alternative thinking. Here is one example. 

I have a friend here who is a free thinking, opinionated American woman and is married to a very very Indonesian man. They have one son who is 3 (he is soooo cute!) and who still sleeps in their bed with them...in America this would be unacceptable, we teach and train our children that they must be independent and capable; they must be able to cook, clean, live on their own, hold a job, do everything from a very young age, and we tell them that they must have their own opinions and ideas. Honestly, I agree with all of that, and I have seen way too many children here who cannot think for themselves, but at the same time, I have seen American families who have taken this concept so far that as soon as their teenage daughter turned 18 she suddenly had to buy all of her own food (as if the birthday was the exact cutoff date). I think that people should be independent and able to take care of themselves, but I don't think that we should sacrifice a childs' well being in order to make them that way. There are so many parents in America who have terrible relationships with their children because they 'had' to make them independent. 

I think that what it comes down to is that Christians should live in a culture of Christianity (they will know you by this, that you love one another) instead of an American or Indonesian culture. In America, we are direct, even to the point of putting people down and being quite rude, because we say "I'm just being honest." in Indonesia, they will not say anything to you for fear of offending you, but will complain to all of their friends...Christian culture says "Speak the truth in love." it says "If you have a problem with your brother, go to him and speak with him, and if he will not listen then bring the elders." We have to stop living in a dream, whatever dream you are living in. My American friends don't know that they have offended their neighbors, because the neighbors of course will not tell them. It is time to break free of our cultural customs, and walk in truth and love, and honesty. 1 Cor 13 says that Love is never rude...the Indonesian version of that verse says "tidak sopan" which literally means "not polite." How many of you are polite in front of your spouse simply out of love and respect? We think, "Oh he is family, I don't have to be polite, I can just let it all hang loose." I think sometimes we just need a new perspective.

These are just some thoughts that I had this 4th of July. I still love America, I still went to the party, and I still had fun, but I just wanted to challenge you to think about our culture, and the things we do simply out of that culture, whether they be true and biblical and right or not. So, think about it, and Happy 4th of July!

Bitter-Sweet

The preparation to come home has begun. I have had a little bit of time to myself this week (which will continue into next week) as it is now the two week summer vacation at Destiny Inst. At first I was completely unsure of what I was going to do with all of this extra time, but finally I decided that it would be best to organize and clean my room, and begin to pack things that I am not going to need/use in the next two months. I decided also to go ahead and finish the 5 books that I had borrowed and have been slowly getting through so that I will be able to return them when it really is time to go.

                The next unit at IMLAC (my language school) is the second to last, and it is also going to be the most difficult as I will be doing a lot more work outside of school. I will be interviewing my friends and even preparing Bible Studies (for when we study together in class) all in Indonesian, and it will be like toing research about the culture, and personal lives of those around me. One thing that I am excited about is the fact that I will be much freer to ask about the differences within the people groups (Javanese, Sundanese, Bataknese, etc.)  I have already taken some time this week to spend a little bit of extra time with my friends, knowing that I only have two months left, a fact that most of them don’t yet realize…I shocked some of the boys earlier by telling them.

                I have said a few times I think that this whole thing is bitter-sweet, and I can’t really think of a better way to say it. I know that coming home is the right step, and that it would be very difficult for me to stay here in these exact circumstances for much longer. There are certain parts of the culture that have been very difficult for me to adjust to, ways of solving problems, and misunderstandings that have not always been dealt with as well as they could have been.  I know that this is a part of life, of growing up, of travel and all the rest, but it does not make it any easier.

                I am excited to come home and learn, I have always loved school, and have already begun to make plans and figure out what all I am going to do. One thing that will be extremely beneficial is that I am planning on taking the TESOL certificate which will allow me to actually work as an English teacher with a work visa here in Indonesia should I so choose (I want to, but we need to pray all that through). I am also excited about the idea that I could go and see some other places in the world. My plans at the moment are to come back to Indonesia when I am finished, and to visit and see more of the islands as I now have friends all over the place. I am excited about seeing family, about the holidays, about the winter (I love snow) and about not feeling awkward in my own culture. This is the sweet part.

                I have a few friends here who have become very close. I never really had friends that lived near me when I was growing up, particularly good friends, and now that I have a lot of friends, and also a few good friends, I am loathed to leave them all. I always thought it was sad that my friends would move away from me, and now I am the one that is moving away.

                I have one student, a young man named Reinold, who has been a student here with me the entire time that I have been here (some were new when I came back the second time). He was one of the first students that I ever talked to, and I told him not to be shy but to be brave and to try to speak in English. He always comes to class, and always smiles at me, but rarely says anything to me, even in Indonesian. A few weeks ago we were getting dinner, and he said “Miss, good food ya Miss.” He voluntarily spoke to me in English. I may have told you about that in an earlier blog, but it was such a breakthrough that I will always remember it. I have begun to be close with some of the girls too. Indonesians in general are very polite and kind, but they often take a long time to trust you and open their hearts up to you. I have one very good friend here who says that she sees me like a sister, yet she will rarely share any of her struggles with me. The fact that I am finally beginning to break through that shell is one of the most difficult things to leave behind. This is what makes it bitter.

                I think that this blog is long enough. All in all I am doing well (except that a very large beetle just flew past my ear and scared me half to death) and would just ask all of you to pray that I have the grace to finish this well and to do what I need to do. I want to be in a good place with everyone. I am planning on coming back here, so it is not goodbye per-se, but it is goodbye for a while, and I don’t want to leave anything undone. Much love.

Me.

Pieces from My Journol

June 9th "Watching the boys practice vollyball in the late afternoon. I always like doing this, but today they are particularly energetic, and unfortunately the ball keeps getting pretty close to Bagong the dog. They keep sending Sandy to go get it, but he is scared of the dog and so keeps approaching very slowly and leaving very quickly...being very careful not to let Bagong see the ball in his hand. The score is 6-1 and the game doesn't look like it is going to be over any time soon."

June 15th "I'm sitting on the bus headed to Salatiga; the hot air after the rain is whipping around my hair and my arms. all of the people are talking about me, thinking that I don't understand, and sometimes I prefer it that way. It is Saturday afternoon and I'm headed down the mountain with some friends for sate (small chicken kebabs with peanut sauce)...It's moments like these when I realize how much I'm going to miss it here."

May 5th "Hahaha....well usually Mr Kenan likes to pretend that he is ending the song (during daily devotion in Destiny) and then just keep going, just to mess the kids up when they are singing...Well today when he ended the song, they just kept on going! Hahaha!"

June 6th "Got to go to Solo today, it almost didn't happen because everyone was busy, but I finally got Yuli to agree! We headed out about 9 and went straight to Solo Square so that we would make the movie in good time, but on the way there Yuli got really sick. I think she was dehydrated...so....we ended up riding a Bechuk! (horse drawn buggy) it wasn't for long, but it was fun. The line was really long, and we couldn't make it to the showing we wanted, but we did make it and it was a blast. I was also able to get coffee and henna, which alone made the whole thing worth while. Sucessfull day!"

Update (finally)

Dear Friends,

So much has been going on these past few weeks! There is both a lot to do and a lot to pray about. I have been teaching, and studying, and have just started Unit 7 in my language school, (7 out of 9) which is the 3^rd and final level of the school. Thus far I have been studying a how to communicate and be polite, and a little bit about the inner workings of a family and history of Indonesia. In phase/level three, I will be studying the culture much deeper; why do Indonesians believe the way they do, what do they really think about this or that, and so on and so forth. I will also be studying major scriptures and Bible verses, today we studied Psalm 23, not too in depth, but in Indonesian. I was so excited last week that I kept flipping through my new book and nearly read the whole thing.

Teaching is going strong, and I still love it…I’m trying to get the kids to get over their shyness and simply speak, as I believe that to be the biggest hindrance. I have also been making new friends, and getting a lot closer to some of the ones that I had already. One such friend is an American woman named Rio who is married to an Indonesian (from Sumatra), they have one little 3yr old boy who is just a doll. I have really enjoyed getting to know them, and they have already presented me with a few possibilities. One of these possibilities is that they have been teaching me how to drive a motorcycle, and have said that if I want to buy one (and am serious about coming back) they would take care of it while I am in the States. Another is that next week they will be in Bali and have asked if I would like to watch their house. This would basically mean that I would spend the week in Salatiga instead of up the mountain…it sounds like an awesome experience, and due to some details, may even be a God-send. So please pray for me as I consider this.

There is another new development that has presented itself, and that is that I have been invited to go to NTT (the eastern part of Indonesia) for a week in August and so some ministry there. The people I would be going with are all excellent people, and we have a lot of fun while we are together. I don’t know many details yet, but I would be working with mostly children, and doing things like teaching them how to pray. This would be a fantastic opportunity, it would , however, cost some money (not much, but enough to mention here) so please also pray that if it is Gods will that he will bring it to pass.

I have been in the beginning stages of preparing myself to go home for a while, and also planning what I need to do when I get back, but God has been teaching me how to let go, and let things die. I have been meditating on the scripture “Lest a seed falls to the ground and dies, it remains alone.” And I have also a new understanding and appreciation for “walking through the valley of the shadow of death.” This has not been easy, and is still not easy, but I know that it is necessary. So, please continue in your prayers, know that I think of, pray for, and talk about you all all the time….all of my friends here want to meet all of my friends there, as they have heard so much about you ;) . Though it is a death, I am looking forward to going home for a while (and not eating rice) and seeing you all and telling you all of my stories. Much love, Me. 

Love

What is love? I think that this is the questions that all the poets, all the song writers, play writers, novelists, actors; anybody has ever tried to answer. We see noble people all the time telling us or showing us all that they have given for us, we see messed up people and people who seemingly have it all together all struggling for the same thing. Love.

                At the beginning of each year I take some time to pray and see what God has to say about the coming year, I also do this at each birthday. Last year on my birthday I felt that I needed to study the Gospel of John, also known as the Love Gospel, and then at the end of December, just before the new year I felt that God was saying that this is the year of radical love. I believe I wrote something about that on my blog back in January, but I am not sure. Radical love, now that is different than just love, is it not? What does that mean? We can get away with saying that to love someone is to think of them before yourself, or to want to be with them often, but radical love sounds different.

                In studying the book of John, you see why it is called the book of love, where it tells many of the same stories that the other Gospels tell, it does not tell them the same way. The words that are used to describe Jesus in His essence are different. I remember reading in a commentary that a picture and a portrait are two different things, where a picture captures the exact person, only a portrait can capture the essence of the person, even if some of the details are not the same. The Gospel of John is a portrait of Jesus where the others are all pictures. Let me give you a quote by William Temple about the love of Jesus for us:

The love that was always perfect according to the existing reality

Perfect in the manger, in the home, in the carpenters shop,

In the words of mercy, in the words of life,

Now reaches its culmination

in the absolute self-abnegation of love undimmed,

nay, victoriously intensified,

by agony and death.

                Jesus said “Greater love has no man than that he lay his life down for his friends.” Yet Jesus also said, “I tell you love your enemies, bless those who curse you.” Could that not be the radical love that He is talking about, to suffer for one who you love, who may not love you? I have a friend who is very close to me, and very precious to me. I love her with all my heart, and I know that she loves me, however, she has also been very hurt by life, and I know that she honestly does not know how to love. I realize that this may sound harsh, and I am not saying that she does not love others, nor am I saying that she does not do everything in her power to bless and love those around her. What I am saying is that she does not know how to really receive the love of others into her heart and soul, and that she does not understand what it really means to love another with no strings attached.

                There have been many days when I have been very frustrated with this friend of mine, feeling like I do all that I can for her and she barely even notices. I send letters and messages, and she never responds, I tell her that she can always come and talk if she needs too, and then later (after she does not come to talk and ends up in a lot of trouble) she says “I wish I had someone to talk to so that this didn’t happen.” She cannot see what is in front of her. I love this person, she is sweet and kind, and always thinking of others, and yet not always.

                Perhaps my standards of love are too high, we cannot expect everyone to love unconditionally, to always think of others and never themselves right? Yet this is radical love that we are talking about, and doesn’t the word ‘radical’ make it different? Jesus said “Love your enemies.” I get frustrated loving someone who wants to love me, but doesn’t really understand, how much more difficult would it be to love someone who had no intention of loving you?

                How many of you have ever been in love with someone (or even liked them) who was simply not interested? Someone who just didn’t love you back, perhaps there was nothing malicious about it, and yet it hurt to your core, because you loved someone who didn’t want your love. How much more someone who hates you, an ‘enemy’? How can that possibly be? If it nearly kills me to love someone who dosen’t love me back, what will it do to love someone who hates me? Remember the poem? “Love undimmed, nay, victoriously intensified, by agony and death.” Love is intensified by death, death to ourselves, to what we want, that is radical love. To prefer another to yourself is love, but to “hate your life even unto death.” That is radical love, that is what Jesus was talking about, that is what I am learning about. So, although it is a difficult lesson to learn, perhaps we should just see how deep this rabbit hole goes. Will you join me?

Raw Poem

Sometimes it is all that you can do to keep your heart in one piece. Through the noise, through the pain, through the joy, or through the rain. All you can do to stand there while the world spins around you and you go from the greatest to the least. My mind is spinning around and around in a whirlwind of dust, people speaking here and whispering there, I'll do what I must. The joy, the light they come rushing by my side, but all around me I see the shadows of things that cannot hide. Sometimes I leap, I sing and I laugh, I look to the good Shepherd who is there with his staff, and yet they go, they come, they walk by or they stare. They make their own decisions, they do what they want, they don't really seem to care. People, people all these people all around me with things to do and say and be, but what is the truth, what do they seek, what does it have to do with me. My heart is beating fast, but slows to a rythm that I know, what once was fast, now becomes slow. Do I sit in the dark and wait for the light, perhaps I know this will be a long winters night. I must lift my eyes I must look to see, I will find the one who created me. There is one who cares, one who knows, the one who sings, and the one who grows. I lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, creator of Heaven and Earth

Happy Sunday

God is so good, you know this week there was a very difficult situation that I had to deal with, I can’t go into the details, but I can tell you that I spent most of Saturday trying to get out of the emotional slump that it put me in. I tried to read, and it didn’t work, I tried to write, to watch a movie, to sleep, to hang out with friends, to pray, nothing seemed to be working; no matter what I did, I was stuck in this place of irritation and not knowing what to do. Finally that night I was praying and I just said, “God, there is nothing that I can do, you have to help me, I can’t even get over the emotions, let alone deal with the problem.” And I felt a little better, I finally ended up just going to sleep and trusting God to help me in the morning.

I woke up on Sunday morning and immediately remembered about my situation, and a bad mood started to get on me, but I decided to put on worship music as I got ready for church. (a trick that my mom taught me) and you know, by the time I got to church I was feeling ok, I already had plans to hang out with my friend Yuli afterwards, and I thought that things would be ok. I cannot even tell you how much fun church was yesterday. I don’t even know what happened really, but I thouroghly enjoyed worship, I was able to go right up into Heaven, and the praise songs were just fun. I was able to understand the message, which is really nice, these days I can generally understand, but there is still a lot that I miss, but this week was better than most. After church I was invited to go to lunch with some friends (including Yuli) and afterwards she and I just decided to walk around and have fun. We were lucky in that it was not too hot, and we just had a really sweet time of connecting with each other. In case you’ve forgotten, Yuli used to be my roommate, but moved down to Salatiga a few months ago to be closer to both school and work. We see each other often, but rarely have time just to hang out and be friends, and I have really missed her. We ended up walking all over the place, she showed me her new place, and then we went and got coffee. Afterwards she decided to come back to Penuai with me and stay, and we went down together the next day on the bus. It was a simple day, not too much happened, and it wasn’t what I would call exciting, but I think that God knew just what I needed. It gave me enough time to process this other thing, which is still not finished being dealt with, but I feel good about it, and I feel like I am now able to think about it and decide (with a calm mind) what needs to be said and done, which is really good as it is a delicate situation, and as we all know, it is never good to just rush into delicate situations with guns blazing, or in complete silence, which before, were the two options. So anyway, I just want to take a moment to say that God is amazing, and I am so thankful for the simple fun day that I had, and I am thankful for my friend Yuli. God bless you my beautiful friend, never forget that just by being you and doing what you do, God can heal someones heart, you do more than you know.  

"Miss, I don't know!"

Three weeks ago I began teaching an English class once a week, I am trying a new method that I have been working on to get them to actually use the language. You see, most of my students here have been studying English for 2-3 years already, and have a basic understanding, the only problem is that the bulk of this understanding is through reading and writing, and if I speak to them, they have no idea what I am saying because they cannot see it. Actually I have run into this problem all over Indonesia, most Indonesians have in fact studied English, even up to 7 years, yet they still cannot speak it or understand the spoken word when they hear it. The other thing that I have found is that there are many Indonesians who can understand English, and yet still cannot respond to a question, or really speak it at all. 

As I have been here I have been trying to figure out a simple easy way to get the kids used to using the language, used to hearing it, and used to putting things in the right context. So, one of the things that I have decided to do is to write down a simple conversation, something that I would hear in the supermarket back home, and to read it to them, then they can repeat it, all the time making sure that they understand what the conversation means. After they have read it a few times and repeated it more times than they would like, I make them act it out....I don't know if this is the best method, but I believe that if they can hear what they are reading  perhaps they will be able to understand, at the same time I am trying to get their tongue used to the English words. 

The problem I have faced is that these kids know English, they just don't think they know it. If I speak to them and ask them a question they will undoubtedly say that they do not understand, every time. However, the other day I was talking to a student in Indonesian, and I could not for the life of me figure out what he was trying to say, so I just yelled out "Man, I don't understand, what are you trying to say?!" One of the other kids laughed and repeated what I had said in Indonesian, the only thing was that the kid who understood and immediately translated is one of the ones who does not think he will ever be able to speak English! I pointed it out to him straight away, "You see!" I said, "You understood that and translated it correctly, you can speak English!" He immediately blushed, but there have been a few instances like that. It is difficult to teach kids who don't think they can learn, but Glory to God, we are on our way!

Thoughts of Home

I've been thinking a lot about home this week, I know that I still have a lot more time before I go home, but at the same time, with every day that day gets closer. I know that God has all in His hand, and His plan, and His timing, and that His plan is the best one...but I have also been meditating on the scripture Proverbs 16:9 "A mans heart plans his way, but the Lord directs His steps." How true this is. I may plan my way, but it is Him that gets it moving...at the same time, while the Lord is ultimately in charge, we must actively participate in the planning of our lives. I have been here learning Indonesian, learning about the culture, working out relationships and making connections, and I am waiting to see what God will do; the only difficulty is beginning to turn my heart home and yet still give it all that I have while I am here; it's the uncertainty that kills.  

I remember when I went home last year (it has been over a year now y'all, crazy!) and how I was so happy to see everyone, but how I just missed Indonesia so much, how I missed the kids, the friends, everything, and honestly I am scared that that is going to happen again. I guess this is kind of an emotional blog today, and it's not going to be very long, but I wanted to stop by and say hi, I also thought I could send you a prayer request. So, please pray that I get some direction, and that I am able to gracefully transition when the time comes, even if it's not for a while. I love you all dearly. 

Me

Life

I love Easter, I love spring, I love Passover, and I love celebrating life, but I have discovered that in America, we often take Easter Sunday (Passover, Palm Sunday, Good Friday, and so on and so forth) for granted. This was my first year celebrating Easter in another country, and it was very interesting. We celebrated much the same way that we would in the States; bright colors and an extra service, but this was different. I was sitting in the town square watching the festivities when my friend leaned over and said “This only happens here, if we were in Jogja (the next city over) we would be bombed for doing this.” What a statement!

Honestly, this was the same thing that we did at Christmas, and it wasn't that big of a deal, the Muslims didn't say anything, nor did they do anything, and everyone was happy to leave it all alone, but this was not Christmas, this was not the promise, this was the fulfillment. It is one thing to say that Christ was born, but another thing entirely to say that He is risen. In the last few weeks there have been some “missionaries,” men who had become Disciples of Christ while still going to church in the Mosques and talking to others about how Yesus (a prophet in the Koran) is more than just a prophet, but the son of God, who have been arrested. Their families have gone into hiding, and we are not sure what is going to happen to them. I also had the chance to talk to some men who had come out of their former religion and into Christianity, there was one who was taken and beaten when he converted, and when he went home his wife was gone…to this day, 7 years later, he has no clue where she is, or if she is even alive, and has been raising his daughter alone. We are not playing games.

I am reminded of a quote by C. S. Lewis that says “If we do not believe in Christianity, let’s put it in the museums where it belongs, but if we do believe in it, then let’s stop pretending that it doesn't matter.” Christianity is not passive by nature, and we as Christians must begin to do something. I am tired of seeing people who sit and talk all day but never set foot in a homeless shelter, or do anything inconvenient, and I am also sick of seeing ministers who are so busy with ministry that they have neglected to teach any of their followers how to even pray for someone.  Our lives should be completely sold out for Jesus, I know you have heard that term, but we should start believing it…as I am writing this, the Islamic call to prayer is just starting…for the 5^th time today. How many Christians would stop what they were doing to take ten minutes to pray….even once, let alone 5 times in one day.

I could keep saying this until I was blue in the face….in fact, maybe I should keep saying this until I am blue in the face, I have a reason to say it; He is Risen! He is alive! Who else can say that? We may not always understand what He is doing, or even necessarily agree with it, (such an American way of thinking!) but we must follow the Life! I remember reading when Jesus said that the disciples had to eat His flesh and drink His blood; that was an offensive statement, it still is in fact, and many people left…but when He asked the 12 Peter said “Where else have we to go Lord?” Where else can we find life? We have nowhere else to go, and yet we stay, not only because we are ruined for the world, but because we have found something that is greater than anything else around us, something outside of us.

What an interesting thought that the thing worth dying for is life; that the only way to get life is to die. That we have all died in with Him, and that He will raise us up. Does this actually make any since? Well not to some, but to me, it makes more since than anything else. I want to end this with another quote by C. S. Lewis, he said “I believe in Christianity for the same reason that I believe in the sun, not because I can see it, but because by it I can see everything else.” We love because He first loved us. I pray for you all that you begin to die and that in that death you may find life. Happy Resurrection Day. 

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I am going to give you a brief overview of the past few weeks. As you may (or may not, I am sorry to say this is due to my lack of updates…I promise I will try harder) know, my students at Destiny Institute have all been working very hard for the past three months preparing for what is called the Student Convention, it is a very large competition in Jakarta and schools from all over Indonesia come to participate. There are competitions for; art, academics, platform, sports, and many others. It is a very intense competition, and the students are up and going from 7 am until 9:30 pm every day.

I went there with 13 students, 9 girls that I was in charge of, and 4 boys that my friend Mr. Kenan was in charge of, we traveled 13 hours by bus and had an absolutely amazing albeit crazy busy week. The competition is run by people who come up from Australia as the curriculum that these schools all use is an Australian program, and so I was able to meet and talk to people who spoke the same language as me, and for me it was a very fun and interesting time. I am also happy to report that every single one of our students won 1^st and 2^nd place ribbons, and some added 3^rd place ribbons as well. We were/are very proud of them. Some of the work that they did for their projects, whether it be presenting a famous speech, a cross-stitch, or an oil painting was absolutely fantastic and it was fun to see them rewarded for their hard work.

When we got home, it will be no surprise that I spent a few days to rest, but we then went right into the end of the term evaluations for the kids, and by the time that was over my professors from college had come. Rev and Dr. Diane Davis from Twin Falls decided last year to come to Indonesia and teach about the 4 R method of learning, Apolagetics, and the One-Room School. They own and operate Aletheia Christian College in Twin Falls, and it is there that I went school before coming here. They have been here for the past few weeks and it has been a really good time for all of us. They brought a young woman named Karli with them and I have really enjoyed my time getting to know my new friend.

Because of this, however, I have been so busy that I have barely had time to see facebook, let alone talk to you all about what I am doing. Having them here has been an inspiration to me, and has also been a relief in that sometimes it is nice simply to be able to talk to someone who understands your cultural references. I have been able to take some council, and really been able to share some of my heart, which has been very good for me.

Honestly I wish I could really share more with you all, but you really do have to be careful what you put on the internet. I understand that perhaps then a newsletter would be better than a blog, yet at the same time, it is still the internet, and so I would like to tell you that my plan to explain more of my time with you when I get home. Here is the other reason my blogs have not always been consistent, I am writing a book. We all knew that would happen, but it makes it hard to decide which stories you guys should read on my blog, which ones should go in my book, which ones I just tell my parents and you can hear from them, and so on and so on.

Well, this blog is already quite long, I will try to get on again and go deeper into the past few weeks in the next week or two as I think I will have some time, and I will tell you about my time in Jakarta, and also my time with Randy and Diane here. I will also tell you that tomorrow morning we are all headed to the beach and will be spending Easter there. I love you all and hope to hear from you soon. (if you don’t know you can comment at the bottom of the blog and I can see and respond, I would love to know that you all read it, cause sometimes I have my doubts J ) Talk to you soon. 

Homesick

Well, I have been here for about 7 months now, which is a month longer than I was here the last time, and I can now say that this week I have felt pretty homesick. I love what I am doing here, my students, my friends, learning the culture and the language, but sometimes I would just like to sit down in the chair in the living room and not have to worry about anything that I am doing rite or wrong because I already understand the situation. 

I miss American food, I miss jumping in the car and going where I need to go, I miss just the every day life style that we have, but mostly I miss my family right now. Sometimes I want to just jump through the computer screen on skype and give them a big hug, but I can't. I would like to just sit and watch a movie with them on Friday night, or have a cup of coffee on Tuesday morning. 

I know that God sent me here, and that this is all His doing, I also know that when I do go home I am going to miss Indonesia like crazy and I am going to miss the food, lifestyle, and people here too, but I am just wondering when they are going to invent the teleporter so that I can just go home. 

Life here is crazy right now, every day I teach, then study, then teach, then homework, then teach, then it is already 10pm and I just need sleep. 

Next month it looks like I will be going to Jakarta for a few days to help with the Student Convention that my school is having. I have been working with my students for the past 4-5 months preparing for this, and now I get to go with them and see them give their speeches, perform their skits, and hang their paintings for the judges to see! I am both very excited about this and very nervous as I will also be chaperoning 9 girls on the trip and will be responsible for them, and making sure they know what to do and where to do it, and all the rest. 

My Indonesian is getting a lot better, I had one friend tell me the other day that he didn't think I really needed to continue because I was already good enough, but there is still a lot for me to learn. I really like school actually, I have some good friends there and I am happy to learn as much as I can. The homework is not bad, it is just that I have to ask my friends specific questions every day, and sometimes they don't really want to help. 

My students here at Penuai have begun to come to me on their own and ask me to help them to learn English which is a huge development, and I am very happy to tell you about it. I love them dearly (I think you all already know that) although sometimes they are frustrating and I don't know what to do with them, I still love them. 

My friend Rolly and his new wife Christina are going to be moving back to Manado, that is where Rolly is from, and it is on the Northern tip of Sulawaisi, which is another island. I am very sad that they are going, but I pray that they will be very happy there, and I think it could be a good move for them.  

So, this blog is simply informative, but I will try to get some stories in here next time.....I know I don't write enough, but I assure you, stories are one thing that I do have. Good night all, I'll talk to you soon. 

How to Live Well

Step 1: Get inspired
Step 2: Tell your friends about it
Step 3: Make preparations
Step 4: Do it
Step 5: Tell people your stories
Step 6: Repeat

Farewell My Friend

A few weeks ago, I was informed that a friend of mine, Pastor Stephen Goh was in the hospital with stage 4 brain cancer. A few years ago they had found it in his lungs and believed that he had been cured when in fact it had simply spread to the brain. My friend passed away this morning, and I just wanted to write a little bit about him and ask you all to be praying for his family. 

Pastor Stephen was a very good man, he had a beautiful wife and three children, and at least one grand child that I know of. His youngest son is 19, and I first met Stephen when I was still a child and he came to some church meetings we had. A few years later, my good friend Jenny went and stayed with him and his family in Singapore for a few months, and up until last year I didn't know much more than that about him, except that he was a very good friend of Ms Glorian Bonette who we all dearly loved. 

Well, when I came to Indonesia, I had a few complications with my visa, and at one point had to go out of the country for a day and then come back in. Pastor Stephen was not only willing to let me come, but he picked me up at the airport, took wonderful care of me, and treated me with more kindness and respect than just about anyone else I can think of. Growing up I always remember my father sitting at the table with an "important guest" and I would help to serve food or coffee, clean the table, and whatever else needed done. When I went to Singapore, I sat at the table and Stephens wife Angela served coffee, food and cleaned around us. I am not very old, and I could not believe the amount of humility and respect coming out of this man. He went on and on about how blessed he had been by my father, and that he wanted to bless me by way of returning the favor. 

Last year I again had to spend a few days in Singapore, and I went to visit Pastor Stephen again, we had a lovely time and I was more than taken care of my entire time there. On Sunday morning Ps. Stephen had a speaking engagement at a church, and before he began to preach, he called me out and honored me for the work I am doing here, again I was shocked by his humility. Later in the week I had some expenses come up with my visa, and Ps. Stephen decided to cover them all and would not take no for an answer. I cannot even describe how lucky I feel to have known him, even for a little while. 

I was very sad to hear the news last week and was not sure exactly how to pray, but on Sunday morning, I had a remarkable vision, I was standing in a room of light and people singing "Holy, holy, holy" and then I looked over and saw Stephen beginning to join in, he looked full of joy and peace, and the idea of calling him out of that place was terrible, I then literally felt myself returning to Earth, and I knew that if he passed, it would be Gods timing. 

 Ps. Stephen passed away this morning with his family, and I know that he will be dearly missed by all, so please keep them in your prayers as those who are still with us have a lot to deal with now. Thank you. 

Goings On

Ok, so here is some of what has been happening. I have been in Unit 4 of IMLAC for a few weeks now, and this is the point where we go from simply learning to communicate, to learning how to do it well. We have been learning different types of object focused sentences and the like in grammar class, it is also where you go from simply speaking and listening to reading and writing. So far I really enjoy it! We are only in class for 2 hours instead of 4, but there is quite a bit more homework, and I have been pretty exhausted doing it. I also gave a little bit of my testimony at chapel on Monday, in Indonesian, in  front of everyone, including the head of the school. It was scary and I was nervous, but I did fine, and a few people told me that it encouraged them. 

At Destiny Inst we are preparing for the student convention in March, and it has been taking a lot of time because there are so many things to be done. The kids have all entered competitions from everything to Mime and Puppet shows, to Spelling and Famous Speech, sports, art, cross stitch, all over the board. So, we (all of the teachers and staff of the school) have been running around like crazy trying to get everything done. 

At Penuai things are well, the kids haven't started studying again yet because for the month of January they are all working and doing month long internships at various business in the village. However, we have actually had a huge breakthrough, as some of the kids have finally started to take the idea of learning English seriously, and they have actually approached me to help to teach them. At this point I don't have a set class here, as I, for one, am quite busy, and as they have not started back into their normal schedule, I had told them that if they wanted I would teach them one on one, but that they would have to seek me out! They have! I am so excited to report this to you all. 

In the way of prayer requests, I would like to ask you to pray that I have wisdom in this culture, sometimes it seems like it is just fine and normal, but there are some things that really are quite different, and difficult for me to handle. Also, it seems that there has been a spirit of accusation going around against some of the leaders, so pray for that. Finally, I found out the other day (out of the blue) that there may be a possible way for me to get a motorbike to ride around. That would be a huge blessing at this point, so please pray about that as well...my one hesitation is that then I would have to drive it and would have no excuse to bum a ride off of my friends anymore =). Also, my professors from College will be coming to Indonesia in March, so please pray that their travel is safe, and that their time here is effective. 

So, this is just a basic update, but I just wanted to let you all know that I love you very much, and think of and pray for you often. Talk to you soon. 

Please Pray

Dear Friends,
It has been no secret that when I have had to go to Singapore during my time in Indonesia I have had a friend there who has let me stay with his family, and taken very good care of me. His name is Pastor Steven Goh, and I have just learned that the cancer he was diagnosed with a year ago has spread, and he is currently in hospice. His family is praying for a miracle, and I would ask that you all join with me. I believe that there is more for this man. Thank you.
Stephanie

Bandung

Hello everyone from Bandung! Today is my last day here before going back to normal life, but I have had a lot of fun and a really great trip. I got here two weeks ago, and went strait to shopping; most of my clothes are hand me downs that I have had for at least 3 years, and by this time, not only were they old, but they were now too big, and so I had been saving money for a little while so that when I went to Bandung (a city about 13 hours away by bus as I discovered) I could buy some new ones. The thing about Bandung that is different is that it is full of outlet stores that have bigger sizes, and although I am smaller than I was, I am not shorter and the fact of the matter is, I am just not Asian size. I am happy to report that I was able to find some really good things that I did not think I would, and I am no worse for the wear financially....although I did spend what I had saved. 

Christmas day was a little different here as well, we started out the day by going to an orphanage. We were not there for very long, but we went, and we brought food, and it really got me thinking; why don't more people do something for others on Christmas day? I know a lot of people who will give to charities or what have you but on the actual day they open presents, and eat a lot of food and sit around wondering what to do with themselves, wouldn't it be nice if on Christmas day (and the day after Christmas for that matter, which I have heard is a very depressing day for most people) people went to a homeless shelter, or a hospital, or nursing home and showed someone that they cared? I know that on Christmas Eve people get a lot of visitors, but not on the actual day. Anyway, after that we came home and had a wonderful meal together, and then they pulled out the Baileys and we watched The Santa Clause on TV...it was pretty perfect.

After Christmas we all went to Jakarta for New Years, and it was incredible! We stayed at a 5 Star hotel, and went shopping (although at that point my spending money was about gone, so I didn't really) and looked around and had a good time...the thing about the malls in Jakarta is that there are a lot of them, they are big, and many times they have ice skating rinks in the hallway... which is pretty amazing. We were there with Vonnys aunt and uncle and their 5 year old daughter who was very shy at first, but once I started messing around with her (as in telling her I thought she was 12 and not 5) she warmed right up, and I had a friend.

The hotel where we stayed had a New Years Eve party that was a lot of fun, every one was dressed up, there were even people in tuxedos and they gave out free champagne for the countdown.

Mostly I have spent a lot of time here hanging out, having fun, getting to know people, I have had a few really good discussions about culture and how to handle a few difficulties that I am facing right now, and I have had some time to pray about the New Year, and the new season. So, I hope that you all have had a fun Holiday time, thank you so much for your prayers, I am going back tonight (by bus again) so please keep them coming. I love you all very much, and want to encourage you to enjoy the snow, but it is too hot here today and I would love a little snow! Happy New Year everyone!