Bitter-Sweet

The preparation to come home has begun. I have had a little bit of time to myself this week (which will continue into next week) as it is now the two week summer vacation at Destiny Inst. At first I was completely unsure of what I was going to do with all of this extra time, but finally I decided that it would be best to organize and clean my room, and begin to pack things that I am not going to need/use in the next two months. I decided also to go ahead and finish the 5 books that I had borrowed and have been slowly getting through so that I will be able to return them when it really is time to go.

                The next unit at IMLAC (my language school) is the second to last, and it is also going to be the most difficult as I will be doing a lot more work outside of school. I will be interviewing my friends and even preparing Bible Studies (for when we study together in class) all in Indonesian, and it will be like toing research about the culture, and personal lives of those around me. One thing that I am excited about is the fact that I will be much freer to ask about the differences within the people groups (Javanese, Sundanese, Bataknese, etc.)  I have already taken some time this week to spend a little bit of extra time with my friends, knowing that I only have two months left, a fact that most of them don’t yet realize…I shocked some of the boys earlier by telling them.

                I have said a few times I think that this whole thing is bitter-sweet, and I can’t really think of a better way to say it. I know that coming home is the right step, and that it would be very difficult for me to stay here in these exact circumstances for much longer. There are certain parts of the culture that have been very difficult for me to adjust to, ways of solving problems, and misunderstandings that have not always been dealt with as well as they could have been.  I know that this is a part of life, of growing up, of travel and all the rest, but it does not make it any easier.

                I am excited to come home and learn, I have always loved school, and have already begun to make plans and figure out what all I am going to do. One thing that will be extremely beneficial is that I am planning on taking the TESOL certificate which will allow me to actually work as an English teacher with a work visa here in Indonesia should I so choose (I want to, but we need to pray all that through). I am also excited about the idea that I could go and see some other places in the world. My plans at the moment are to come back to Indonesia when I am finished, and to visit and see more of the islands as I now have friends all over the place. I am excited about seeing family, about the holidays, about the winter (I love snow) and about not feeling awkward in my own culture. This is the sweet part.

                I have a few friends here who have become very close. I never really had friends that lived near me when I was growing up, particularly good friends, and now that I have a lot of friends, and also a few good friends, I am loathed to leave them all. I always thought it was sad that my friends would move away from me, and now I am the one that is moving away.

                I have one student, a young man named Reinold, who has been a student here with me the entire time that I have been here (some were new when I came back the second time). He was one of the first students that I ever talked to, and I told him not to be shy but to be brave and to try to speak in English. He always comes to class, and always smiles at me, but rarely says anything to me, even in Indonesian. A few weeks ago we were getting dinner, and he said “Miss, good food ya Miss.” He voluntarily spoke to me in English. I may have told you about that in an earlier blog, but it was such a breakthrough that I will always remember it. I have begun to be close with some of the girls too. Indonesians in general are very polite and kind, but they often take a long time to trust you and open their hearts up to you. I have one very good friend here who says that she sees me like a sister, yet she will rarely share any of her struggles with me. The fact that I am finally beginning to break through that shell is one of the most difficult things to leave behind. This is what makes it bitter.

                I think that this blog is long enough. All in all I am doing well (except that a very large beetle just flew past my ear and scared me half to death) and would just ask all of you to pray that I have the grace to finish this well and to do what I need to do. I want to be in a good place with everyone. I am planning on coming back here, so it is not goodbye per-se, but it is goodbye for a while, and I don’t want to leave anything undone. Much love.

Me.

Pieces from My Journol

June 9th "Watching the boys practice vollyball in the late afternoon. I always like doing this, but today they are particularly energetic, and unfortunately the ball keeps getting pretty close to Bagong the dog. They keep sending Sandy to go get it, but he is scared of the dog and so keeps approaching very slowly and leaving very quickly...being very careful not to let Bagong see the ball in his hand. The score is 6-1 and the game doesn't look like it is going to be over any time soon."

June 15th "I'm sitting on the bus headed to Salatiga; the hot air after the rain is whipping around my hair and my arms. all of the people are talking about me, thinking that I don't understand, and sometimes I prefer it that way. It is Saturday afternoon and I'm headed down the mountain with some friends for sate (small chicken kebabs with peanut sauce)...It's moments like these when I realize how much I'm going to miss it here."

May 5th "Hahaha....well usually Mr Kenan likes to pretend that he is ending the song (during daily devotion in Destiny) and then just keep going, just to mess the kids up when they are singing...Well today when he ended the song, they just kept on going! Hahaha!"

June 6th "Got to go to Solo today, it almost didn't happen because everyone was busy, but I finally got Yuli to agree! We headed out about 9 and went straight to Solo Square so that we would make the movie in good time, but on the way there Yuli got really sick. I think she was dehydrated...so....we ended up riding a Bechuk! (horse drawn buggy) it wasn't for long, but it was fun. The line was really long, and we couldn't make it to the showing we wanted, but we did make it and it was a blast. I was also able to get coffee and henna, which alone made the whole thing worth while. Sucessfull day!"

Update (finally)

Dear Friends,

So much has been going on these past few weeks! There is both a lot to do and a lot to pray about. I have been teaching, and studying, and have just started Unit 7 in my language school, (7 out of 9) which is the 3^rd and final level of the school. Thus far I have been studying a how to communicate and be polite, and a little bit about the inner workings of a family and history of Indonesia. In phase/level three, I will be studying the culture much deeper; why do Indonesians believe the way they do, what do they really think about this or that, and so on and so forth. I will also be studying major scriptures and Bible verses, today we studied Psalm 23, not too in depth, but in Indonesian. I was so excited last week that I kept flipping through my new book and nearly read the whole thing.

Teaching is going strong, and I still love it…I’m trying to get the kids to get over their shyness and simply speak, as I believe that to be the biggest hindrance. I have also been making new friends, and getting a lot closer to some of the ones that I had already. One such friend is an American woman named Rio who is married to an Indonesian (from Sumatra), they have one little 3yr old boy who is just a doll. I have really enjoyed getting to know them, and they have already presented me with a few possibilities. One of these possibilities is that they have been teaching me how to drive a motorcycle, and have said that if I want to buy one (and am serious about coming back) they would take care of it while I am in the States. Another is that next week they will be in Bali and have asked if I would like to watch their house. This would basically mean that I would spend the week in Salatiga instead of up the mountain…it sounds like an awesome experience, and due to some details, may even be a God-send. So please pray for me as I consider this.

There is another new development that has presented itself, and that is that I have been invited to go to NTT (the eastern part of Indonesia) for a week in August and so some ministry there. The people I would be going with are all excellent people, and we have a lot of fun while we are together. I don’t know many details yet, but I would be working with mostly children, and doing things like teaching them how to pray. This would be a fantastic opportunity, it would , however, cost some money (not much, but enough to mention here) so please also pray that if it is Gods will that he will bring it to pass.

I have been in the beginning stages of preparing myself to go home for a while, and also planning what I need to do when I get back, but God has been teaching me how to let go, and let things die. I have been meditating on the scripture “Lest a seed falls to the ground and dies, it remains alone.” And I have also a new understanding and appreciation for “walking through the valley of the shadow of death.” This has not been easy, and is still not easy, but I know that it is necessary. So, please continue in your prayers, know that I think of, pray for, and talk about you all all the time….all of my friends here want to meet all of my friends there, as they have heard so much about you ;) . Though it is a death, I am looking forward to going home for a while (and not eating rice) and seeing you all and telling you all of my stories. Much love, Me.