Christmas Time

I am finally done with the first 3 units of IMLAC! That means that I am 1/3rd of the way done, and that I have a break for Christmas. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to update again, things have been crazy busy here, and I honestly have not had time to write to you all. 

I have been working on tests in my own school, helping with tests, evaluations, and dramas at the other schools, and just all around have been trying to get things done. At Destiny Inst. we had a Christmas Celebration and drama, and it was a lot of hard work, but it was a blast! We had been working on it for over three months before the actual event, and it was something else. The drama was written by one of the other teachers, and it was complete with crazy characters, musical numbers, dances, and pre-recorded voice overs, (due to my English skills I got to be the narrator) and one very cute singing frog. The costumes were over the top, the "baker" in the play passed out real brownies to the parents, and everyone had a good time. Before the show, however, I was at the school at least 4 hours early, and honestly I didn't stop that whole time. All of the girls wanted their hair to be curly...all of the girls have straight hair, and we had one curling iron. 

The trick after the Christmas drama was that it was the last day of school before their Christmas break...but not so for me, so I had to figure out how to get up and down the mountain every day. The bus is ok, but sometimes I really don't fit, I am just too tall, my legs are too long. Thankfully I was able to go up and down the mountain without too much trouble, just enough to make me busy. 

The week before all of this though was my friend Rollys' wedding. I was happy to help him, especially considering that his fiancee was coming from Malaysia and is not Indonesian, so it made it difficult for them as she did not know many people here, but it also made me busy. Ok, this is just a glimpse of what I have been up to, but I really wanted to tell you what I have learned, and what I am doing the rest of my break time. 

This year has been a really interesting Christmas because it is my 2nd Christmas away from home, the first one was difficult of course, and I really missed home, but I knew I was experiencing something that I could not experience any other way. This year I am seeing the difference between what we think of Christmas and what really is Christmas in a completely new way. I am seeing it from a standpoint where I can understand the culture, and what people want instead of just attending because you attend. This year the season is not about my experience, and what I think, but it is about those around me. I am seeing people with nothing to give go out and risk their jobs, their friendships, or even their lives to worship their King, they are not risking everything they have to go to a celebration, it is about worship. The amazing thing about the story of the wise men is not that they brought small gifts in beautiful boxes, but that they were willing to leave their homes, families, reputations, everything they had to go on a life threatening journey to seek a legend, on the off chance that it might be true. The amazing thing about Joseph is not necessarily that he was able to forgive Mary, but that he was willing to let down his pride, his reputation, and probably loose all of his business and livelihood in order to take care of a baby that was not his own. 

We sometimes forget the amazing story that the Nativity is, what all went into it, and what all came out of it. So, I want to invite you to think about it for a while, look for a new angle to see it from. Listen to the words of the Christmas carols, listen to the second and third verses, and listen for the worship in them, because they are some of the most amazing and worshipful songs I have ever heard. 

Ok, enough with my preaching, I will tell you that tomorrow I am getting on a bus by myself and traveling to Bandung for Christmas. This is kind of scary for me, and it was not planned this way, but it is the way that it has turned out, so please keep me in your prayers. I am really excited to go, I will be going for two weeks, and I think it will be good for me to get away. I will be spending Christmas and New Years with my friends there, and hopefully be able to take some time to rest, pray, and play. I am always blessed when I am with these people and I feel that God is going to be doing something with me while I am there this time as well. 

I want you all to know that I love you very much, and have been thinking of and missing you this Christmas. See you again soon. 

Steph

Joko Tarub

I heard a Javanese legend in class today, and it was really quite an interesting story, so I thought I'd share a little bit of a cultural experience with you all and tell you the story.

Joko Tarub

Joko Tarub was a young man that lived a long time ago on the island of Java. He lived in a house just outside of the jungle, and one day when he was sitting in front of his house he saw a beautiful bird fly by. This bird was so beautiful that Joko Tarub decided to catch it. When he got out of his chair the bird flew into the jungle, and Joko Tarub being filled with the energy of his scheme followed it. After a while Joko Tarub became very tired and thirsty, but he had run after the bird with such haste that he had forgotten to bring any food or water. He rested for a bit and then began to look for a place to drink. Not long after that he found a river and immediately began to drink, but as he was drinking he heard laughter. Joko Tarub was shocked and hid himself while looking around to see who was laughing in the middle of the jungle. Presently, he saw 7 beautiful women bathing in the river, he was shocked by their beauty, but then he noticed that they had all taken off their wings and set them on the rocks. They were not women in fact, but angles or fairies from Heaven who had come to Earth to bathe. 

Now Joko Tarub was a bit of a mischief maker, so when he saw the wings laying on the rock he reached out and stole one that was shiny and green. After a while, when the women/fairies were done bathing they all put their wings back on, but one noticed that hers were missing. "Where did I put my wings?" she asked all the others, "Surely they were here on this rock? Could they have floated down the river?" While she looked her sisters all headed back to heaven, and after a while she sat down on the rock and began to cry. Where was she going to sleep? What was she going to do? How was she going to get home? After a while a man appeared, of course it was Joko Tarub. "Why are you crying?" he asked her, but she made no answer. "Do you have a place to sleep?" Still she was silent. "Come and stay with me." he encouraged. After a while she finally agreed, and went to Joko Tarubs home. 

After a while, as you can guess, Joko Tarub married the fairy,whose name was Wulan and not long after that they had a little daughter. One day, when the daughter was still a baby, Wulan was making a pot of rice. "I'm going into the jungle to get some vegetables," she told her husband, "don't open the lid of that rice!" and then she left. Why can't I look in the pot? Joko Tarub thought to himself, and after a while his curiosity got the better of him, and he opened the lid. Joko Tarub was shocked to see that though the pot was filled with water, there was only one grain of rice! Of course he realized, she is a fairy, every time she makes rice, she only uses one grain, that is why our rice has lasted so long! Soon, Wulan came back and opened the pot to see if the rice was done, she was surprised to see only one grain. "Joko Tarub! She yelled, "Why did you open the lid of this rice?" "I didn't do it!" he replied, "Why do you lie to me?" Wulan asked again, "I know you did, and because of that, the magic won't work anymore, so now I must use the normal amount of rice."

After a while, the rice drawer was close to being empty, because, of course, now Wulan must use as much rice as everyone else. One day when she was scooping out the rice, she saw something shiny and green hidden in the bottom, and was shocked to find her wings! It was quite clear to her now that Joko Tarub had stolen them in the first place, and she went to him immediately. 

"Good bye." she said simply, "I want to go home now, please take care of the baby." Joko Tarub tried to protest, but she put on the wings and flew up to heaven. When she arrived there, she was stopped by a guard. "You cannot enter." he said, "Why not?" she asked, "This is my home, I live here." "It was." replied the guard, "But, because you have married a human, you cannot live here anymore." Wulan was now as sad as she had ever been, she was not allowed to return home, and did not want to go back and live with the lying, thieving Joko Tarub, and so she plunged into the sea. 

No one really knows what happened to Wulan, but most people believe that she became the Queen of the sea, and many an accident is said to be on her account. The superstition is that you cannot wear green on that beach, or Wulan will take you, searching for her wings. The people of Java still have ceremonies and make sacrifices to keep her happy, lest the sea come at them, trying to reach the heavens.

I hope you liked my story, I thought it was really interesting. Much love to you all. <3

Holiday Season

Well, Thanksgiving is now passed, and Christmas is coming, shortly after that will be New Years, and this is the second year in a row that I will not be with family for the Holidays. This is a very difficult blessing for me. I am so thankful to be here, despite my struggles, I love it here, and am so happy. In fact, I keep The King and I on my computer so that I can watch it and think about how much I feel like I can relate to her....except there is no Yul Brynner here, which is a shame. 

This Thanksgiving was amazing. I didn't have any turkey, I didn't talk to family, I didn't get any pumpkin or apple pie, but I had more to be thankful for then I could even put on my annual thankful list. I went to school in the morning to study Indonesian, and I had a blast. I went to school in the afternoon to teach English, and I had a blast...there was even one student in particular who is difficult, who had the best day we have ever had learning together. I went home and got some much needed rest without feeling guilty, and that night I preached at the weekly chapel that the kids have. 

A few weeks ago I began to feel that God was putting a message on my heart for them, and I asked if I could preach some time. The next week was busy, so they said "Two weeks ya?" Which, unbeknownst to me at the time was Thanksgiving day. When I realized it I began to think of how I could preach what was on my heart, and also say a few words about being thankful...Glory to God I was able to mix them together quite well, and I think that I was able to really say a few things that needed said. Of course, the translation was a little bit difficult, and the mentors were tag-teaming it and discussing the meaning of what I said sometimes so it took a little while, but I cannot even tell you the joy that I felt in preaching that night. 

My heart is so full here; there are days when the homesickness is almost more than I can bare, and then all of a sudden it just goes away, not the missing of family and the season, but the "sickness" of it. God is so good to those who follow Him. Actually, my message ended up being about James 1:4 "Count it all joy when you go through various trials, knowing that the testing produces patience." The Father always brings about the good, there was another verse I preached on, I would have to read it to write it down here correctly, and my Bible is not with me right now, but it says "having nothing, yet having everything." We have everything in our nothingness, and I have fulfillment in my loneliness. I had always been taught how to be thankful, and had always felt that I knew what Thanksgiving was about, but I think this year I have really begun to understand it in a whole knew way. 

I am still unsure what exactly I will be doing for Christmas or New Years, but whatever it is I know that I will miss you all terribly, and that I will thoroughly enjoy myself every step of the way. 

Like a Duck Out of Water

It is no secret that I don't really fit into this culture, or this country. I am a head taller than most people, my hair is blond, my eyes are blue, and I like to hug my friends on Sunday mornings instead of just shaking hands. I don't speak the language (yet) I don't understand the "Whys" and "Hows"  that I am faced with every day. I can't drive myself anywhere, and the public transportation is literally sometimes a little bit too small (although I do fit, I just have to either sit sideways or not stand up all the way). 

I am here to learn and to teach, to inspire and to pray. I am here to build relationships and build the Kingdom, but before this I had very little experience in; public speaking, preaching, praying over people, having a lot of friends, teaching, getting where I need to go by myself, or living anywhere that spoke another language. Needless to say, there are days when I feel that I am a duck out of water. 

The trick to learning a language is remembering to be patient with yourself, while at the same time working very hard to improve as fast as you can. The trick to teaching a language is getting them to try and use it more and more so that they can learn. I have to say that I don't know which trick is harder, while the one is purely self motivated, the other requires a mix of intuition, spontaneity, cleverness, and practicality. Preaching and praying for people, thought sometimes nerve wracking, is still doable...but when it is in another country, you have to remember to use words that the translator can understand, and structure your sentences in such a way that the congregation will understand when it is done being translated. Getting around is ok, but it is still difficult, and I often ask a friend to go with me. As for the relationships...that is a whole other subject entirely. 

Making friends was never something I was good at, I am not always sure why, but it has always been difficult not only to make them, but then to keep them as friends after a while. Something always seems to go wrong. As I have been here I have been learning a lot about making friends. The language barrier seems to both hinder and help. It hinders in that it makes good communication difficult, but it helps in that sometimes things that shouldn't be said aren't. The problem I am now facing with it is that I so wish to go deeper, because I know that I am an introverted person, and that if you are going to really get to know me, it will take time and effort and usually a lot of talking. 

I think everyone can understand when I say that people usually have a lot more to give than they know what to do with, I feel like that. I feel that there are certain things that I not only know how to do, but am good at, and there are other things that I am just not good at...unfortunately, most of the time the things that I am not good at have to be in place before the things that I am good at can come out and be established. And yet, I know that it is God who sent me here, I know that He has a purpose in what I am doing, and I trust Him enough to know that he picked the right person for the job. So, I guess I will just have to give everything to Him in prayer, and risk looking like a fool sometimes. Perhaps this duck will learn to fly. 

A Challenge

I am wondering if I should say anything about the elections? 

I will be brief. Although I am sad that Obama has won a second term, as it speaks of the state of our country and I don't know what shape it will be in four years from now, I can't help but think that this could be a good situation. I don't think that because of what I have seen so far, but because I know that perhaps under such a man the Church will begin to pray. 

I have often thought about Daniel in the Bible, and about the fact that this simple servant, this slave, who simply prayed to a God that he knew, was able to influence and change three different Kings of the most powerful kingdom in the world at the time. Just because we do not have a godly man as our President does not mean that this cannot change. What if there really was a "change" what if there really was "hope"? Not in Obama, that would be against the point, but in a God who loves us, and for His people to really begin to look to Him. 

The reason our nation is falling apart is not because of one man or the other who lives in the capital and 'suggests' some laws and Vitos others, but it is because of the lack of morality in the people. You all know this already, but the question is, when are we, when are you (specifically you) going to honestly pray...not say you are going to pray and then forget, or pray once when you are upset about it so that you feel better before you go to bed, but really pray. When are you going not only to 'believe' in moral principles, but walk them out. Teach your children about the word of God and live it without expecting them to turn away (lets face it, there are tons of Americans who expect their teenagers to be rebellious, my parents didn't and my siblings and I were not) If the Church was using it's money to take care of the poor instead of build a nicer building then we would have far less empty buildings, and the government wouldn't have to tax us in order to give more and more to welfare. This is a fact. When will we begin to actually live the way that we talk? 

So many people say that they believe in forgiveness, but ask them to forgive a person who had an abortion and they will not know what to do with you, especially if it is recent. Ask them to pray for the President and they will pray only that he looses his job, is that showing Christian love? 

I don't mean to preach, I mean to challenge, I want you to think about what I am saying to you. I want you to take the time, literally and actually pray for President Barak Hussein Obama, and his family, lets face it, his beautiful family, that they would be courageous, and wise. That they would become patriots, and that they would learn to fear the Lord. I pray that these four years we could learn to love our enemies, and that instead of ranting, we would be the change instead of expecting or blaming someone else for the change that is around us. Maybe not brief, but I hope you get my point.

Up and Down

There are some days here that are harder than others, the past few have been like that. Sometimes the lack of understanding is heightened, sometimes the lack of communication seems exasperating, and the slowness of learning a language is frustrating. I know that it takes time, and actually I am learning fast, but there are days when I feel like I simply cannot do what I need to do. 

I know that God is good, and even this week one of my students came to my room just because they did not want to be alone...after 15 minutes they released their heart to me and asked me to pray, we talked and prayed for the better part of an hour and there were a lot of tears. I am so happy to help, in any way that I can but I just wish I could do more. 

There are so many things that I wish I could do, so many things that I see that need done, and all that I can seem to do is wish that I could fix it. I spend a lot of time praying and studying, and usually I am good with that, in the knowledge that it is preparation unto a greater end, but that end has seemed to be very far in the future this week. 

There are a lot of good things going on, and I have been incredibly busy this week, but every spare moment I am fighting to keep my joy. I have been meditating on the things I have to be thankful for, reading my Bible, praying...everything I am 'supposed' to do. I guess I am just asking you all to keep me in prayer. I am trying to decipher from my head, my heart, and my emotions, and act on what I know is true, and what I know is right and good. I am trying to let go of things that don't matter, and hold on to the things that do. 

Sometimes Indonesia is frustrating because it seems that the people take very great offence, or make a very big deal about little things that really don't mean anything. I heard a story today about a young couple who got married within 6 months of meeting each other (one American, and one Indonesian) anyway, they wanted to wait to start a family, and the neighbors decided that she hated Indonesia so much that she refused to raise children here; another example is if I eat too little food, the cook could easily be offended. On the flip side, if they promise to do something, even a promise to their boss, that is no guarantee that it will be done, and they will probably be angry if you insist.

So please just keep me in prayer, that I would be wise and forgiving, and that I would know what to say and what to do. Please pray for Indonesia, that they would become the people and the nation that God has created them to be, that they would know what is worth getting upset over, and when your word is your word. As you go about your day, and as you say your prayers at night, think of us, because even with all of this going on I know in Whom I believe, and I know that this story doesn't only have a happy ending, but a triumphant one. All my love I send to you, see you soon. 

Sometimes what's on your mind and what's on your heart are two completely different things. It has been one of those days when I have gone through all of the motions that I needed to do and still have not felt like I have done what needed done. I guess the best thing to do in those situations is to pray that God would grant you the opportunity to do what you that thing that is on your heart to do, and that His will would be done that day. 

You know, I have spent time telling you all about my schedule, about my thoughts on various subjects that I come across; I have told you about some of my stories with students, but I feel that I have not really been able to share with you what it is like. Perhaps I am not a good enough writer to say what I truly want to say, but I guess that I just want you all to know that you are always in my heart and prayers. 

It is interesting being so far away from home when such an important event (I'm sure you know which one I mean) is so close, and to hear the opinions of other people in the world, and not just Americans. It is amazing to see the progress of the students, and how far they have come this year, not just in speaking English, but in their character, and their growing up process. Of course there are still a few things that have to be addressed, but for the most part things are going quite well. It has been stretching to be spending so much time learning the language and culture, to be always in view of everyone (I'm blonde) and always putting myself out there to tell people that I don't understand. It has been overwhelming to be doing the thing that I longed to do for so many years, to see the beauty and feel the wonder of it all. It has been refreshing to meet so many new people, and form new relationships. It has been astounding seeing all the things that God has done, and all of the ways that He has provided for me. It has been stressful to try and figure out the best way to teach while at the same time trying to learn the language and adjust to the culture. It has been a life shaping experience, and though it is obvious, I will say it anyway, my life will never be the same again. 

Sunset (no edit)

Actually, everything about Indonesia is a point for me in some way or other, be it the roads, the weather, the way of life, the way of dress, the type of coffee, or the big picture, I have found both joy and uneasiness in all, and I guess I just wanted to convey that to you somehow, but the only way that I know is just to say it the way it is, simple and clean, so there you have it. As always I send you all my love, and hope to hear from you soon. 

Sacrifice?

We had a long weekend this week because Friday was a very holy day for all of the Muslims, it is the day that they sacrifice a cow, a goat, and (I think) a lamb. Everything is closed, schools, offices, sometimes even the convenience stores, you can barely even find a little cafe to get some lunch in...lets just say that it is a big deal. They usually make the sacrifice in the town square at 6:00am, I could have gone, but I don't really think that it would be a good idea. 

So, since we had a long weekend I decided to just rest and practice my Indonesian as much as possible (not as much of an oxymoron as it could be) but I ended up doing a lot of thinking about what sacrifices we Christians make. This is kind of a trick questions these days, because to some Christians putting their $5 in the offering is more like a fight with your conscience than a sacrifice, whereas others spend all of their time working in the church and wont forgive their husband. There are some Christians however, who are willing to sacrifice anything and everything for what they feel that God is doing in their lives, and for what they feel He is saying to them. I know many of this kind personally. I have one friend named Kathy who spent 14 years running YWAM Turkey and now lives in Northern Iraq, a single white woman...now that is bravery and sacrifice! 

I am just wondering what we are willing to give up if it is asked of us? After the sacrifice on Friday there was a celebration, which is why the shops were all closed, it wasn't because they just didn't want to work, but because they were too busy with the party. How many Christians do you know that throw a party when they sacrifice something? It is pretty amazing to me actually. Just a few thoughts. 

Small Step

I am starting into my second Unit at IMLAC and I have to say that I am really enjoying it so far. In this unit instead of being with only Korean class mates, I have a woman from Canada and a man from Germany, now that our class is big enough they have split us up into two groups, so it is the Korean speaking group, and the English speaking group. It is really nice to have some new friends as well. 

I know that it is obvious, but I really am enjoying the ability to communicate with my students here at Pondok Penuai. There is something about just the little bit that I can say that has seemingly upped their ability to speak English. Perhaps it is that they know that if they use a little bit of Indonesian I will still understand, so they have been much braver when it comes to actually talking to me. 

There was one thing that really excited me this week that I wanted to tell you all about; one night I was out sitting on the steps and enjoying looking up at the night sky when one of my students came up and sat down next to me. We talked a little bit, her using some English, and I using some Indonesian, and it was not anything special, until suddenly she started to share some things with me that she has been struggling with. I gave her a little bit of advice, and reminded her that Jesus loves her very much, and that sometimes the reason that He hasn't (or seemingly hasn't) answered our prayers is because the timing is off. The conversation was not long, but I felt that it was a really important step to where I am going with this. 

I have been spending a lot of time in prayer, I don't know really if I have told you what my vision is for these kids that I have come to love so much, so I will tell you now. Yes I am here learning one language and teaching another, just for the practical skill of communication, but that is not the vision. I don't want to just give them the ability to speak English, but I want to teach them or show them, or somehow let them know that they have a voice, that they are important, and that there is something that they alone can bring to the table. I want them to know that not only should they speak, but that people will listen to them. They are worth it, I know that and I just hope that somehow I can let them know that as well. Honestly it is difficult because so many of them come from such a poor island that they don't feel that they are worth very much. 

If you have ever heard Ps Sam speak about this school then you know that it has five focuses. 1. Character 2. Entrepreneurship 3. IT 4. Agriculture 5. English. All of these things are so that they can be effective in the world today, so that they have something to do, and the ability to do it well; but if you do not believe that you are worth very much then even if you know how to do many things you simply do not do it. I want them to know that they really do have the ability to reach the goals and dreams that they have. 

I don't know what all God is doing with me here, but I just hope that I can be faithful in the things that I do know. I know that I need to pray for them all, that I need to study hard, and that I need to be a good example for them to see. In these areas I am doing the best that I can, and I pray that God covers me where I lack. 

I guess I will also just say that I have been missing you all lately, and that I love you very much. If any of you want to send me a letter and tell me how you are doing., or put a comment on this blog or on my Facebook please feel free to do so, I would love to hear from any and all of you. Talk to you soon. 

I am spending my morning getting ready for my first evaluation at school and marveling at how good God is to me. As you already know the reason that I am here is to help these kids in any and every way that I can, but sometimes that is difficult because of the language barrier. I have told you before that my "mission" if you will, is not just to teach them English, but to teach them that they have a voice and that they have something to add to the world. I want to help each of them to see the amazing thing that God has in store for them, but most of all I want them to know how much they are loved. 

I have been here for 3 months...even though it seems like it has been much longer than that, and I have been in school for one. I have been learning things like the joint words, and basic vocabulary, and it has really helped, but I am no where near fluent yet. Sometimes I get frustrated if I don't know things right away...which I know is silly, but it is still true, and there are days when I wish I was just able to speak easily and well to the people whom I love so dearly. 

Well, last night I was just sitting outside enjoying the fresh air on the mountain when one of my students came and asked to sit next to me. She is a sweet, but troubled young lady, and has had a difficult time in the past, and has a difficult time now due to basic upbringing issues, like she doesn't know how to control herself when she is angry and things can get ugly. Well we just started having a bit of a conversation, me using some Indonesian, and her using a little bit of English. After a while she started sharing some things with me that she is unsure about and doesn't know what to do. I was able to tell her that God loves her, and encourage her to pray and ask Him about it. She was asking me difficult questions like "if God loves me, then why is my relationship with my father terrible?" and "Why hasn't he answered my prayers?" I was able to give some simple answers, and I trust that He will do the work that needs done through that. I just feel so happy and blessed that I was able to take one more step closer to my goal. 

P. S. Being somewhat bilingual is awesome.

Jogja

Well the rainy season has finally begun. last week we had we first of the rain, and this week we have had it at least three times. right now it is just a cool breeze and a low fog, which are a welcome break from the muggy and sweaty weather of the late morning and early afternoon. Many people say that the wet season is hotter than the dry, but in actuality it is only one hour of the day which is more humid, but not hotter. Now the threat of rain is hanging about, but no water yet, which makes me sad. (I love the rain) I would love to sit here writing with the rain as my inspiration all day. 

Sometimes I wish I could really embellish the stories that I have here to make them seem more beautiful and book-worthy, but I know that if I embellish the dull ones, people are less likely to believe the good ones.

I spent the last two days in Jogja (aka Yogyakarta) with my friend Uthe, and one of my students Ifan. I decided it might be fun to go with Uthe on Saturday and Sunday because I love Jogja, actually it is probably my favorite city so far. In general it is clean and organized, and genuinely pretty. It also has Malioburo (a street filled with awesome shops and a mall at both ends) which, thought crowded is really good for shopping and batik. Perhaps I will go there again once before Christmas and see what happens ;) . Not to mention that it has a theater and coffee shops. 

Before this trip I had only been to the famous parts of the city, but this time I saw much more of it and still thoroughly enjoyed myself there. We stayed with a Pastor and his wife who are friends with Uthe. He is Batak (one of the tribes of people here) and she is Chinese/Indonesian. They have (I think) a son and a daughter, but their house is quite full due to the fact that the whole worship team lives there, as well as a young mother of two who is having trouble with her husband. I liked them very much and hope to see them again. I also enjoyed my time with the young people, though they spoke little English. We talked a little, played guitar a lot, and just had a good time. One man was named Anton and he spoke mostly with me is he had the best English. He was not handsome, but he had a good head on his shoulders and was kind. There was another one named Johnathan who was extra skinny, had long hair, tattoos and smoked. He was the kind of person I usually don't really talk to, but he was funny and I liked him. He taught me how to play B and Bm on the guitar...which was nice of him...since he taught me in Indonesian and it was a tad confusing... 

You see, this story could use just a little bit of embellishment...

I have been in school for close to a month, and you would not believe the difference it has already made. Just by teaching me words like "but" "for" "left and right" "the other one" "myself" and the like. They were holes that desperately needed filled in. I believe that the next Unit will help with vocabulary (kosakata) and then we can just go on from there. The faster I learn the language the faster I will be able to talk with the students, which is the real goal. To be able to tell stories, to listen to conversations and ideas, to share advice and things like that. I am going to school every day so that I can effectively communicate. My hope is that within the next few months my Indonesian will be good enough that I can preach, pray, or just really get to know them all. When that has been accomplished, I will take the time to really teach them English well, then may we have communication. And it is my wish to teach them to really pray and seek God as well, then will we truly know and understand each other. Right now the trick is to balance my time between writing, prayer, reading, studying, teaching, friends, alone time, spending time with them, practicing guitar, (which I have finally started to learn) practicing piano (which I am working hard to continue to learn) and countless other things. It's no wonder I feel like I never have any time now!

School

I thought it was about time to give you all another update. I have just started my third week of school, and I like it so far, although there are times that my brain begins to get tired. The teachers all teach using more Indonesian than they do English so that we are constantly hearing and learning the language. Much of what we have learned I already knew, but there are quite a few holes that are being filled in as well.

Honestly speaking, I am yet again adjusting to how things are going. I like school, I am thankful for it and I know that it is going to be really good, but I miss being able to spend so much time with the students here at Penuai. It generally happens that when I am done with school and by the time I get home I am ready to take a nap, and work on homework. After dinner sometimes I am able to be with them, but yet again, often times I have things to do...like write my blog ;) Maybe it would be best just to write on Saturday. I miss them, and am having a little bit of trouble figuring out the right balance. I do, however, think that this problem will sort itself out.

I realized the other day that it is just about exactly one year ago that I came to Indonesia. Can you believe that? It's crazy! It's hard to believe how much has changed during this past year, and how many things (perhaps that we expected to change) did not. At this point I can think of nothing that I would rather be doing, yet I think I have become a little bit more homesick lately. I miss all of you, and sometimes I just want to hug and talk with you all. Sometimes I wish I already knew all of the rules of the culture, and how to express exactly what I wanted to say. I was talking to some of the students tonight, they were asking me about my criteria for a husband, I said "good." they said "baik" I said "kind"  they said "oh, baik again" I think there were four or five things that were equal to "baik". Honestly speaking, I have been a little homesick...read: pretty homesick. It has been probably the first time since I came the first time that I wouldn't have minded going home for a few days...but since I know that after a few days I would want to come back I pulled myself together and figured that in a few days I would be back to where I was before. 

I am beginning to get a cold I think because of the wind blowing germs around everywhere, so please pray for that, it would not really be good. Well I am going to go. Love and prayers. 

P. S. (I just realized that I say "honestly speaking" a lot. ;)  )

The Ode

We are not famous mountain climbers, 

but we walk along and climb some of the largest mountains in the world. 

We are not thrill seeking white water rafters, 

but we've floated down long winding and rocky rivers. 

We are not recognized and renound motivational speakers, 

but we speak hope to people anywhere and everywhere. 

We are not doctors and nurses with degrees and large salaries, 

but we give medicine to those who don't have it. 

We are not teachers, 

yet we are always teaching. 

We are not contractors or architects, 

but we build homes, libraries, and whatever else is needed. 

We are not councilors and psychiatrists, 

but we reconcile families. 

We do not have a paying job,

 but our work is ever before us. 

We are not scholars,

 but we study some of the most difficult and important questions ever asked. 

We are not the leaders of a cause, 

but we will constantly speak, and we will live and die for our beliefs. 

We are often alone, the only one who will stand, 

but we are never really alone. 

We are missionaries. 

Thoughts and Facts

The first week of school is finished, and tomorrow I begin the next. I told you all that I think this is going to be fun, and that still goes. It mostly feels like I am adding pieces to a puzzle and hope to eventually get a whole picture. The first week left me pretty tired though, and I will have to figure out how everything will go with the students here at Penuai, but I think that will work itself out given time. 

Right now it is the end of the dry season, so there are flies all over the place, and during the day it gets really hot...this is good for drying clothes, but it makes walking, or really doing almost anything in the middle of the day difficult. 

I just watched the King and I with my roommate Yuli, which was an interesting experience. I feel a little bit like I can relate to the movie, being from America and coming to Asia to teach English...although these children are not the children of a temperamental king... I can still sing "Getting to Know You" and there are still things that happen that I don't really know what to do with. It was really fun watching it with someone from an Asian culture, also someone who had never seen it before. 

There are so many things in my head right now that I wish I could put down here for you, they are all about what I am doing here, and what I feel that God is doing. It is about my own personal feelings and dealings, and about the whole of Indonesia. I don't want to just tell you about my day and what I do all the time, but I don't really know how to tell you the rest. I mentioned about the King and I because I just so enjoyed the beauty of the movie, the story the culture, and the knowledge that I am here in Indonesia teaching English. I feel more like a woman than I ever have before. That is a really personal statement for me to say, but I want to let you all who are praying for me to know what is really going on. I feel that I am doing not just Gods will, but I am doing things that I was always meant to do. 

This afternoon I spent time with two of my friends, one of them is nine months pregnant, and we are always around her to help her as there is not a man in the picture at the moment. After we spent time with her we walked around and got coffee, ran a few errands, and then came back to Penuai. It was a simple day, nothing out of the ordinary, but I felt that everything that I did was worth something. I enjoyed the entire day. I am not sure of exactly how this is all going to pan out, what I will do after I finish learning Indonesian, or anything like that, but now I am content to just be here. I just want to say thank you all for your prayers and support. I am so grateful to you for what you do. It is what keeps me here, both practically, and emotionally. So, just a few thoughts to finish off the week and begin a new one. Love you all. 

First Week

Monday morning I finally started school at IMLAC! At IMLAC they have 9 units, each unit is 4 weeks, and then we have a week off. Unit 1 focuses mostly on the ability to have simple conversations with Indonesians, and works on vocabulary, basic grammar and pronunciation. But by the time I am done with unit 9 I should be able to communicate in most situations, and read and write the language quite well. So far, I am having fun, but I have been much more tired than I anticipated. I go to school every morning at 8 and am there until 12. Four hours really isn't bad...in word, but in reality, day in and day out, it is difficult. I am fortunate that I had been trying to listen and learn while I was here the last time, because now as I am learning the basic things, I have a much better understanding of how it all works. I was at the point where I understood, but I didn't know...I knew that those two words were similar, but I didn't know when one was appropriate and not the other. An example is "kami" versus "kita" both mean "we" but one includes the person you are talking to and the other one does not. Now I know =)

The program is designed to be helpful, but most of the work and practice is entirely up to you as a student. Thus, my homework is to talk to 15 Indonesian people a day, make friends with my neighbors and so on. The reason for this is that they want us to be immersed in the culture so that by the time we are done we have not only the ability to communicate, but we have friends and understand the culture, and have honestly the ability to live in Indonesia. They not only teach the language, but will answer any and all questions that we may have about culture and appropriateness. 

During my 4 hours of class I have 5 teachers. I like them all, and I think (hope) that they will become friends in the future, I am also meeting a lot of people from America and Europe...most of them have trouble finding Indonesian friends, but as I live with all Indonesian people it is kind of novel for me to have American friends. My experience here has been so different from theirs! Most of the students at IMLAC are here with an organization of some kind, and are learning the language as a stepping stone to go to other islands. They have western homes and friends, and know where all of the western places to eat are. In fact, when I tell my teachers that I ate rice for breakfast they are happily surprised. Honestly I am a little bit surprised by how different my experience has been from theirs, but I am glad of it. I like the idea that I am experiencing the real Indonesian culture, and not a westernized version of it. Even the fact that I was my own clothes is very different, yet part of the culture. Honestly it is really difficult sometimes because it is so different, and I am so steeped in the culture here, yet I know it is still not as deep as it could be. During the holiday of Idul Fitri last month I went to some houses in the village, and I saw really how Indonesians live. I feel that I am one step further than some of the other students, but that there are more steps to take. 

All of my friends and students here at Penuai are extremely excited that I am learning the language  Actually, I am at the point where if someone is speaking slowly, I can understand about half of what they say... as long as it is basic language... there are still a lot of words, however, that I don't know, and really need to learn so that I can really understand how it all works. But, that is why I am at IMLAC. Last night I was talking to one of my friends, and I told her something that had happened to me, using Indonesian, and when I was finished, she laughed out loud and asked me to tell it again. I love watching peoples reactions when I speak "bahasa" (they call their language bahasa Indonesia, bahasa for short) Also, usually the question I get more than any other is weather or not I can speak bahasa yet. They are always pleased to hear that I can speak a little bit. 

You know, it is really amazing how much you can show people that you care about them by speaking to them in their language. It really is a testimony to them. That is why I decided to learn the language, besides the practicality...I must learn Indonesian if I am going to spend any amount of time here. It is a way to show them that I want to talk to them, I want to understand them, and know about them. You have heard the saying "People don't care how much you know until the know how much you care." This is a true statement, and the longer I am here the more I care, and the more I want to tell them so. Every time I get tired, or a headache, or don't want to study, this is what I must remember. They are my motivation. My hope is to become their inspiration... to show them that they can do whatever they want, to show them that life can be good, and to tell them that they have a voice, that people care about them. I want them to know that the world knows who Indonesia is. I want them to know that God knows who they are, where they come from, and cares about them and their lives. That is really what I am doing here. I am not just learning one language and teaching another, but I am here to be a live witness of the power and love of God for them. I am a witness, not presently and actively evangelizing, but living proof that God can use young people, and that He cares for these students. He cares for Besta, and Ifan, and Mita and Ceski. All of them. That is my update today, so that you know what I am doing...day to day, and prayer to prayer. So, good night all. I love you. Please keep me in your prayers that I would remember why I am here when it gets difficult. To remember that I really am a missionary, and not just a tourist. Please pray that He has His way here. Talk to you again soon. 

Musings

You know, I really hate sin...I hate it. It brings so much death and destruction. During the past few days a lot of the kids here in Penuai have been watching movies that have been violent, bloody, and filled with "inappropriate humor", and on top of that are the daily things that we deal with. I know that when you get closer to people you sometimes find out things that are sad and hurtful, but sometimes, they are really sad and hurtful. I guess I am feeling that lately I have been surrounded by a lot of things that tear down your spirit.   

Philippians 4: 8 says "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." These are the things that I always try to remember, but it can be hard with a constant bombarding of everything that is horrible, twisted, and wrong. I guess the obvious thing that comes to mind would be "Well then just don't watch the movie..." But it is so much more than that, it is dealing with life, with people, their past, their future, what they want versus what they do; I am even reading a book about missionaries, and I know that they are going to die, which is just more violence. I know that God gives us grace, and helps us through. He is always helping me. 

I think I just have a dream of a better world, but sin, the notion of "self before God" is deeply rooted in this earth. C. S. Lewis said "This may not be the best world that could exist, but it is in fact the only world that could exist." I know he is right, I know what free choice means. This doesn't seem to be much of a blog, but I wanted to just write out some of my thoughts. I guess I would just ask that you please keep praying for me/us here, that truth and righteousness and mercy would reign, that people would walk in the light, and that Penuai would really be the place of healing that it is meant to be. I love you all very much. 

Me

Just a Blip

You know, God is so good. I have just been contemplating His goodness for the past few days. Every time there is something that goes wrong...which has happened a lot these past few weeks, all I have to do is say "God, this is Your moment." and He comes through. 

About a week and a half ago I was given the chance to preach at the Thursday night chapel that we have here on the compound. I didn't really know what to preach on so I went to one of my favorite scriptures which is Jeremiah 1:5-8 which says "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations. Then I said "Ah Lord God! Behold I cannot speak for I am a youth." But the Lord said to me "Do not say I am a youth for you shall go to all to whom I send you and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of their faces for I am with you to deliver you says the Lord." I love this scripture because so often I have felt too young, but I wanted to tell my students that God had the ability to use them now if they would let Him. I ended up talking more about miracles than anything else. I challenged them to step out in faith and see what God would do. That was Thursday, on Friday I had just about everything go wrong, and I had a lot to deal with...but just as usual, God did what He does. 

At this point I have no problem believing God to provide financially, most of the time it is through all of you, but I was reminded this morning of when I went to Africa, and a customer at the coffee shop handed me a check for $2,000. There really is nothing that is impossible for God. I'm getting ready to start school, as you know, and honestly I am a little bit scared, as I have never been to school in a foreign country before, but I have full confidence that God will do what He does. I am encouraged, and I just wanted you all to be encouraged too. Much love! 

Just. About. There.

Well, I am finally just about finished with everything that I need to do for my visa, and then I will be all set to stay here in Indonesia for the next year!!!!! After going to Ungaran, and Semarang a couple of times, paying quite a bit of money, and at least 7 signatures to go with my fingerprints this morning, I have everything turned in and in the right file. I am exhausted tonight after I spent all day running around, but I am happy, and had a fun day. Now I am sitting here with a cup of tea, and listening to Michael Buble while looking at the stars and I feel very satisfied. I kind of miss home today, but I think it has more to do with the fact that I would love to just relax and talk to family....thank God for skype! But, as it is still only 7 am there, I will wait for at least another half an hour. 

I'm not really sure what is going to happen this weekend, but there is a possibility that Borobudur is in the running. That would be AMAZING! I have not been there yet, and since it is only like 45 minutes away, I think it would be a very happy thing to do. It's perhaps kind of funny that they charge over three times as much for a tourist as for an Indonesian, but if I have my KITAS with me (which hopefully I will tomorrow) then it is only Rp. 5000 more (that = .50). 

I have to admit that now that my school is getting closer I am beginning to be a little bit nervous. I know that it will be fine, and that I will have fun, but still...it is something new and different and I don't know exactly how it will all work out...although it will... =) 

Just a short blog tonight, but thats ok. I love you all dearly, and hope to hear form you soon....seriously.... ;) 

What I Have Been Up To

Hello Everyone. 

Everything is going pretty well here. I begin school on the 17th and am really excited that I will be able to understand so much more of what is going on around me. You never learn to appreciate communication so much as when it is not readily available to you. Tomorrow I must register with the police in Salatiga, and also either tomorrow or Thursday I will have to go to Semarang and register with the immigration there. Those things are (I believe) the last loose ends I need to tie together before school starts. Once school does start, I can tell you that I will be very busy. I will be in the class from 8 to 12 and then I will have 4 to 5 hours of homework. Things like going to the market and buying something, and translating newspapers and songs. I will also tell you that I will be using public transportation every day. This does not really bother me, but there have been at least 4 or 5 people who have suggested that I see if I can buy a motorcycle and get around that way. As I will be here for at least one year (maybe two) I consider that a reasonable option, so I am praying about it. Will you all pray with me? 

As for the teaching I have been doing, it is going quite well. Ps Sam finally defined what he wanted me to do as "cultivating a culture of speaking English." This is no easy task, in fact, it is impossible for me to do without Gods help...fortunately I have His help; last night for the first time I had a bunch of students really wanting to talk with me, have conversations, and really want to learn. Breakthrough! I am so thankful, and I am praying that it is a continuing thing. It is a matter of the students hearts being open to learning and feeling comfortable enough to try without fear of looking stupid or messing up. It is my hope and prayer that while I am here that they will practice enough, and feel comfortable enough practicing that they become quite good. Honestly if you are willing to study, and to try then you can do just about anything you want to do...even learn new languages. My plan is to teach them through discipleship as well as the basic studying of the language. We will just have to see how it all works out once I start school. 

The other thing I have to tell you about is Saturday. This weekend, of course, was the first of September, so we began our plans of transforming the village outside of Salatiga. This week was the "lets open their hearts week." where we passed out rice, sugar, noodles, and oil for free, and sold eggs, and school supplies for really cheap. We had music playing, and a really long line. It was so much fun! At first they could not figure out where to place me, mostly because I don't really speak the language yet, but they found a place and I had fun handing out the care packages. Afterwards a bunch of us went to a youth meeting and had a bonfire and played games. What a great way to spend a Saturday! I love living life this way. Take care of people, and then go have some fun. 

Next week they will be having an "Empowering Women" conference to help the prostitutes get out of their present situation. Unfortunately the people who need the money the most don't really get it, because once you have three kids (as a prostitute) you don't get as many customers. It is a sad way to live life, and so the goal is to teach them about the love of Christ, and about entrepreneurship. We want them to be able to make more money without going through the horror of life the way they now live it. The third weekend we will have kind of a Talk Show, and Ps. Sam will be giving away his autobiography as a prize. Please pray for Ps Sam too, as this whole endeavor is costing him over $2,000. I think I mentioned that before. 

As for me personally, I am good. I love it here, as I assume you all know by now. I have fun with my friends, and the students, and when I was in Singapore I missed them. I have had a little bit of warfare though, sometimes I have difficulty thinking straight, and deal with feelings of fear that they don't really want me here. I know that this is not the truth, but it comes at me some days, so please be praying for that. Last night I had a dream that was significant enough for me to wake up at 3.30am knowing that I was in the midst of spiritual warfare, so if you could all be praying about that it would be really appreciated. I love you all so much and would love it if you would leave a comment. In fact, if anyone wants to write me a message on fb, or write me a letter I would love to hear from you all........ (ahem.. hint hint) .... I pray for you all the time and hope all is well with you. See you soon. All my love. 

Stephanie

Back 'Home'

Hello everyone. I wanted to let you all know that I made it back to Salatiga safe and sound. I had a wonderful time in Singapore, Ps. Stephen Goh and his family were wonderful! Very kind and generous, and all around good people. I thank God for people like that and think that we should all strive to be more like them (which, of course is best accomplished when striving to be more like Jesus). 

I arrived Thursday night, we had some dinner and then went home to rest. Friday was mostly just a resting and figuring out our week kind of a day, but on Friday night they had a small group in their home. During that time I was prayed for, and given some really encouraging words that I really needed. Saturday we went around a little bit and had some fun, and then Saturday night I went to worship practice with Ps Stephens son Josh, who was going to be leading worship the next day with friends of his from all different churches. (Cool!) We had a lot of fun together, yes, we did practice (they practiced, I watched) but there was also a lot of playing *no pun intended*...well maybe... Sunday morning the worship was good, and the word was even better. After church Ps Stephen asked me to help to pray for the congregation, which I did, and which I loved. I love being used by God. 

Monday, the day of truth, we went to the Embassy and filled out the application, and then we were told that it cost quite a bit of money, and would take 3 days to process, putting the pick up time exactly 5 hours after my plane left for Jakarta.... I had been told that it was a same day process, but such is the way of things. First things first, I asked if there was any way that she could make it faster so that I did not have to change my flight schedule. She said that she would call someone and to wait for a while. Next, go pay the bill, it was about exactly the amount that I had in my account, but I figured/prayed that God would provide. Alas, the Indonesian Embassy is a cash only institution, but thankfully I was there with Ps Stephen and he was able to loan me the cash that I needed. After this I asked the woman at the desk if she had called her boss. She said that she was sorry and that there was nothing she could do. I asked her if she would mind calling one more time, and handed her the receipt. After about 20 minutes, she called me over and said "Come back tomorrow at 3" Glory to God!
After we left the Embassy we went around the city and had a little fun. I got to see the Merlion, with a long discussion about the fact that anything unnatural is not of God, and had an all around good time. That night we went to a meeting, and I ran into someone I had met at the Friday meeting. I smiled and began to join the worship, as we were a few minutes late. As we sat down to wait for the next song she handed me an envelope that said "I felt that God wanted me to share His blessings with you." In the envelope was exactly the amount that I needed to pay for the visa, plus enough extra to put in the offering. I am so blessed! When I went to give it back to Ps. Stephen he refused to take it. I had effectively received twice the amount that I needed.
Tuesday we went around the city of Singapore, and it was a lot of fun. We went to the Embassy and picked up my visa with no problems. I ate some western food, and enjoyed speaking English all of the time, but by the time I was about half way through my day I was really missing Indonesia. It is amazing to me how much I have grown to love her. I don't know exactly how it will turn out, but I am excited to spend the next year here. I know that God is with me, and we will just have to wait and see what will happen next. 

Off to Singapore

I am finally in Singapore. It has been a bit of a long day, but I am good, and I think that I will have a really good week while I am here. Whenever I come here I am struck by the difference between the metropolis that is Singapore, with the laid back way of Indonesia, but I love it. 

I am so excited to learn Indonesian! Honestly, I can hardly even tell you how excited I am. School does not start until Sep 17th, but there are some things that I will need to take care of before then anyway. When I get back from Singapore I will have to go to Semarang and register there and get an Indonesian ID card for my time there, and things like that. I have many projects that I will be working on in September actually, one thing is that I am going to attempt to translate all of the songs for the Sunday service so that we can have the Indonesian lyrics with the English translation on the overheads. Another thing is that during the month of September Ps. Sam is heading up a mission to "adopt" a small town outside of Salatiga. During the day in this town you can find around 50 prostitutes, but at night there are over 300 women there, so every weekend we are going to be doing something to help. The first weekend we will be giving out food. The next we will have kind of an "Empowering Women" conference (for lack of a better word) to help them know that there is another and better way of life. Also, Sam will be giving away the book that he wrote about his testimony. To add to this adoption, they are also going to try and buy the church building that is in the town, as it is there are about 10 people in the church, and the pastor there is deathly ill, so Sam is going to be talking to other pastors around Salatiga to see if they can all spare members of the worship team, and a week to preach, and try to buy the building and really build up the church members (I am not talking just about size, but build up as in give them faith and transformed lives) in that area. I just want to mention here, that this venture will be costing Sam quite a bit of money, and if any of you want to donate to that cause specifically, then you are more than welcome. Just let me know. 

Back to what I am doing in Singapore, like I told you all before I have friends here that I will be staying with, and the plan is to go to the Embassy on Monday, because everyone is closed down for Ramadan on Friday this week. Actually, it has been really interesting to be in a Muslim nation during this time. Of course you all know that during the month of August, they all fast, but what I didn't know is that the fast ends in a week of feasting and what is called Idul Fitri, which is essentially the Muslim Day of Atonement. All of the families get together and forgive each other for things that happened during the past year. During this time, most places to eat are closed, so if you don't want to cook, go to someones house....because they will feed you, but be careful, because they will also take you to the neighbors house and you will probably get to eat three or four dinners before the day is out, which, by the way, happened to me. 

Well, it has been a long day, and I really want to sleep. I will update again soon. Please pray that everything goes smoothly and that there is no problem getting the visa. Love you all. 

A Few Thoughts

It has been a very busy week here in Indonesia. On Wednesday all of the students had a big test. On Friday, was Indonesian Independence Day, and today is Idul Fitri, the equivalent of the Muslim day of Atonement. It is a feast to celebrate the end of the month of fasting, and also a time to reconcile and forgive each other. Many Christians here celebrate it, and I have been invited to two different homes to celebrate tomorrow (my friend Abby had four homes to visit after church today).  

I am so thankful for the new cultural experiences I have been able to have since I have been here. Never mind that there were very loud fireworks and singing all night or that most of the restaurants have been closed for the month, it is amazing to see the world through eyes other than what I grew up with. There are so many things here that you have to get used to, that are just different, and yet the fundamental principle that people are people all over the world remains the same. 

This week will be busy as well. On Thursday I leave for Singapore, I will be there for four days, and I will get my student visa. Once I get it, I must go to IMLAC (the school I will be studying at) and give all of the proper paper work to the man in the office. Once I do that he will give me a KITAS, (not sure exactly what it stands for) and I will have to go to Semarang, the capital of Central Java and register there. Once that is done (and everything is paid for...which by the way, I need you all to pray for finances to come in, because as of July 1st their prices went up. Also, I am praying that I can get a motor bike while I am here. They cost around 1,000 to 13,000 and it would be a huge help this year while I am going up and down the mountain all the time.) I will begin school in mid September. Until then, I have been helping to teach English to the kids, and have also been teaching cross stitch or "kris stik" as they call it here. 

So as you can see, there is a lot to pray for, and there have been some challenges, but I am good. I understand a lot more Indonesian than I can speak, and you would not believe how nice it is to actually be able to understand some of what is going on. They all want me to learn Javanese, but I have asked that they let me learn Indonesian first. Actually there is a girl who is staying here right now from Papua...she speaks all 14 of the indigenous languages of Papua....truly amazing....and for some reason she is shy to learn English with me... go figure. I will tell you however, that on Independence Day I sang and danced with the kids for a performance at church. We sang "This is the Day that the Lord has Made" in Indonesian, Mentawai, Batak, Sunda, Papua, and English while dancing traditional dances from each island...needless to say they enjoyed the extra tall white person dancing their dances, and honestly I had fun. Normally I don't like to do things that I am not good at... (who does?) but I had a good time. 

Anyway, I am looking forward to next week, and we will see what happens...life is an adventure (read: challenge) and I am just getting started.

A Practical Word on Faith

We as Christians hear and speak about faith all the time, and many times we think about how fun, exciting or interesting a "life of faith" would be, but do we really understand what "living by faith is?" We as a community, it would seem, have come to understand living by faith as trusting God to heal a cold, or provide for us financially when we are a little low, but it should be so much more than that. That is only the first step. Living by faith should be much more like stepping out so far onto a limb that if God doesn't come through for you, you will die. We should be way out there, but the problem that I am beginning to see is that every time someone steps out that far, most of our brothers and sisters in Christ begin to pull back. They ask, "are you sure you heard from God?" or they say "That is not practical" or often use the term "good stewardship" instead of "practical". Having great faith is not about thanking God for the healing he has already given to someone who is really sick, or praying louder, or doing prophetic acts, it is about obedience, and faithfulness when it doesn't look good, or is inconvenient and believing that things really will change. 

I am not saying that God does not do supernatural and sudden healings, or financial miracles, but I am saying real faith is praying every day for however long it takes and believing for hearts to be changed. It is working at and believing for a good and whole marriage, and believing God that He will come through for you. Yet it is also risking financial insecurity if He asks you to spend a lot of money to do something impossible. It is praying for the dead to raise from the dead, but you can only raise people from the dead if you have spent a massive amount of time in prayer. There is the gift of healing, but you usually find it in people who have been faithful in many trials. Paul's faith was not that God would rescue him from persecution, but that because of his faithfulness, the people persecuting him would find the love of Christ. The reason that he was bitten by a snake and did not die is because he was displacing the pagan religion with the truth...not because he was playing with snakes and believing that God would not let him die. We are not using faith prove our own worth, but to establish Gods goodness and grace and power in this world. I guess what I am trying to say is that we should all take a minute to really evaluate what we think of faith, what we truly believe, and honestly challenge our own paradigms on the subject. I know you all believe it in your heads, but does your heart agree? If you were really being honest, what would you say about the way the church approaches faith today? Think about it. Pray about it. Decide. Run with it with all your might. See what He will do. 

Honestly...

The past few blogs have mostly just been updates about what is going on, but not really about where my heart is really at in all of this, so today I decided to tell you honestly. 

I know that I have said that I am very happy to be back here in Indonesia, but today I really proved that to myself. We went to church this morning, and it was a nice surprise to see that they put the English translation up on the overhead with the songs. I was able to greet most of the friends that I had not greeted yet, and then my friend Rolly and I went around Salatiga to hang out for a while. We had good conversation, and I was able to buy some things I wanted. Simple morning. Not much happening. I found myself not only smiling, but every time I got on the motorcycle to go somewhere else I felt like I was a little kid playing a game. I looked around and was just filled with this overwhelming since of how happy I was, and then I remembered that in September I will begin school. I cannot believe that I actually get to learn Indonesian!!! I am so excited. I feel like if I could pick a life, any life, that this is the one that I would have picked. The more I get back into the flow of things here the more I am really enjoying it. 

It is not only that I love the country, but it is also that I feel like I have a purpose, that I am working and doing something that is important. When I was on my way here from Maui I had a one hour layover in Tokyo. Not a big deal, I didn't think much of it, but while I was sitting in the airport God gave me a vision about what I am going to be doing here. I don't really want to share it right now, I am still in the process of praying about it and seeing how it will all fit...plus it is a lot bigger than me, so it is kind of intimidating; I will tell you though, that it fits in with all that I have been doing here up until now, and it really gives me a long term goal while I am here. It is always nice to have something to look forward to. Yesterday I was able to sit and listen to the students sing and play the guitar for about an hour, and I could not help but realize what a blessing it was. I love these kids so much. I am so blessed. I don't feel that I can adequately tell you what is in my heart to say, except to say that our God is so good, He is so faithful, and He always gives the best for His loved ones. I don't know how everything will work out. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but I know that I am blessed, and happy. I feel loved, and I feel beautiful, I feel important, and I feel humbled. Honestly. 

Next Step

Well I have been here for a few days, and they have been wonderful. I have been able to spend a lot of time just re-acquainting myself with everyone, and with the way of life here. I am pretty much all set up in my room, and I am going to begin teaching English again tomorrow. It feels a little bit fast, but at the same time I am really excited. However, I do have one more hurtle to jump over before I get to where I am going, and start school...and that is a trip to Singapore. 

I knew coming over here that I would have to take a trip to Singapore the last week of August to get my student visa, and begin school in September. Now that is about two weeks away. It is not a big deal, except I would like to ask you all to be praying that finances come in for the trip. I have been being careful, but the tickets will cost a bit more than I expected them to. I have faith that God will provide, as He always does, and thus, am not worried, but I do ask you to keep that in prayer. I need to purchase them as soon as I can so that they don't go up even more in price. 

Once I am there I will need to go to the Embassy and apply for my visa, and then I should be all ready to go, and begin school in September. This will also cost money, but once again, I know that God will provide. 

Actually, I was talking to one of my friends today about the difference between living for a salary, and living in the inheritance. When we have a salary, or when we base decisions solely on money, then we always seem to see that lump sum decreasing; whereas, if we live in the inheritance, it is about not only money, but about the way you go through life. Yes, I need money for the airplane ticket, and I am not saying that we should not work hard, or be wise with our money, that is a part of being righteous and a strong witness to the world, but living in inheritance means that when I get to Singapore, I have friends there who will take me into their home. I have a place to stay, I am living out the benefit of who my dad is, and the legacy that he has left me to walk in.

I guess I just wanted to let you guys know what the next step is. Please pray for me tomorrow as I begin teaching, and know that I pray for you all often. I love and miss you guys, but am having the time of my life here. Talk to you soon. 

Stephanie

New Phase

I am finally here in Salatiga. I arrived yesterday morning in Jogja at 3:30, after being on a train for 9 hours, and then took another 2 hours to drive from there to here, but just as the students were finishing their morning prayer here in Penuai, I pulled in to one of my favorite places. It is really surreal that I am here again, and I am so thankful to be. I greeted everyone, shocking some of the ones who didn't know I was coming, and unpacked my bags. 

After a quick shower, I headed down into Salatiga to see all of the students at Destiny Inst. who didn't know that I was coming, and succeed in shocking the old students and meeting the new ones. I spent most of the day hanging out and re-connecting with people, and now I am on day two, and the plan is to go ahead and get settled in. 

Honestly, I am a little bit overwhelmed, I still have a bit of time left before I begin school, which is good, because there are other things that I want to be doing here as well, but when you are looking at something that is bigger than you it can be troublesome as to where you should start. Actually doing the thing that you have been wishing you could do is kind of difficult. It is like an olympian who actually wins the gold medal. There is nothing in the world that can compare with the joy, but also the sheer magnitude of what you just did. What do they do with their time three months later? Still train? Not nearly as hard. Now that I am in Salatiga again, instead of Hawaii or Bandung, it is here, this is it, I have to get to work, I don't know how this is gonna turn out, but I guess it's time to take the plunge....can anyone tell me where the pool is? Confident and a bit confused, but I am not really worried. I guess the first step would be to pray, to get myself centered, and settled, and we can go from there. So, with that in mind, please keep me in your prayers. I'll update again later. All my love. 

Me

Update

It is my last day here in Bandung. I am really excited to finally be going to Salatiga and begin the work that I actually came here to do, but I am finding that I am very sad to be leaving my friends here. I have been so blessed and felt so loved here in Bandung. We have all had a really good time. The trick to leaving is to look down the road you are taking, and not over your shoulder to the one that you are leaving. 

Honestly, I don't really feel ready to do all that I am going to do, but I guess the best way to get over that is just to trust God, and take it one moment at a time. Sometimes I feel that I can take on the world, and sometimes I feel that a whole day is too much for me. I am not really sure what all I will be doing, or how it is all going to go over, but what I do know is that in a few hours I will be getting on the train and going to see some people that I love very much, I know that the Lord is going with me, and that it was His idea in the first place, and I know that I have a few weeks to get used to everything before I go to Singapore to finalize my student visa. When I get back form Singapore I will officially be beginning school...which by the way, I cannot wait to do! I am so excited to be learning this language. I already enjoy using the little bit that I do know, so I think that the more I learn the more fun I will have...plus I will be better able to live and get around and the like. 

This is just a quick update, please be praying for me as I travel. I do have a friend going with me so I will be safe, and we will be traveling through the night. Also pray that I have a smooth transition, and that the dates and times that I have to go to Singapore work out well. I love you all very much, and I pray for you often. Talk to you again soon. 

Words of Action.

God is so Good. Can I just say that? Because He always comes through. Have you ever had one of those times when you just knew what He was going to say, and then He actually says what you needed to hear instead? He is so faithful. I just found out that one of the biggest things that has been ahem... concerning me is actually not an issue, and that it will not only be fine, but will probably end up being a lot of fun too. I don't really want to go into the details just now, but I can assure you that it is a huge answer to prayer. 

I have been here in Bandung for about three and a half weeks, and I have had a wonderful time the whole time. My original plan was to head to Salatiga on the 1st, but they asked me to stay until the 5th. I will be taking the train, and I have a friend that will be going with me to insure my safety. Such is the provision and blessing of our God. Actually, I have been blessed with favor here beyond what I thought I would be, they have told me that they wish I would stay another month at least; but I am beginning to be really excited and ready to get to work in Salatiga, to see my students again...who by the way, gave me a call the other day, not that they could really say much in English yet, but they just wanted to say hi. 

As I have been here, I have spent a good deal of time resting, and having fun, and praying, and have a good idea of what I will really be spending most of my time doing...besides just learning the language, I plan on doing everything I can to figure out a way to really teach the kids English, how to express themselves, and how to be well spoken in the language, but more than that I want to show them that the Father loves them. I don't want to just give them a voice, I want them to have something to say. I want them to be confident and know that they speak the truth, and that the truth is good. I want to teach them character, and grace. These things I can only teach them if I am there with them, it comes out of a heart of love. The best way to teach forgiveness is to forgive. The best way to teach them that they are loved is to love them. It's not about one grand act of love, but about the sharing of a life...for however long. I have received more love from someone that I barely knew, who acted kindly and understandingly to me than I have from some people that I have known for years and yet they never showed any interest in what I had to say, or who I was. So far, as I have spent time here, the language has been a bit difficult, but whenever someone doesn't say it right it just turns into a laughing fit and we all have a good time. What would it be like if when we made a mistake it was good fun instead of shameful? How much more willing would we be to try? I guess what I am trying to say is that actions speak louder than words. 

On a side note (but just as important) I wanted to let you know that I was able to connect with Ps. Sam this week, and we had a good talk. We are on the same page as far as I can tell. So, like I said before. God is just so good!

Righteousness?

I have just written a blog ranting about my feeling about what happened in Colorado; I have been heart sick all day, upset at America and the lack of righteousness in the world....in my blog I demanded change, but I don't think that is really what I wanted to say. I think what I really wanted and honestly, what I need to do is to remind you of His righteousness, His mercy, His justice, and His grace.
We serve a miraculous God. The two most offensive things about Him are His mercy, mercy on those who deserve death and hell fire, and His justice to those who are "good enough" to reject His mercy. I think often times we forget that we serve a God who cares about the world much more than we do. We forget that though we have recently been forced to remember evil, and the destruction it brings to our otherwise normal lives, He came to earth, this small broken planet, and lived and died in the midst of that evil, that we...we small pieces of dust in the wind might just find a glimmer of light. Yet not just a glimmer, but a whole sunrise. C. S. Lewis said, "We believe not because a god exists, but because this God exists."
So what do we do? How do we go on living this life that He gave us, how do we not waste the precious years, and what can we do to combat the evil we too often see? I believe that the answer is to stop arguing about the petty, to remember that this is about so much more than that. This earth, and our lives on it really are about Him, they are about the fact that an ultimate being so wanted to love and be loved that He put His life, literally His breath, His essence into the dust to create man. Most of us do not, indeed we cannot understand the depth of His love. I believe that today His heart is grieving for the evil that has taken place...not just in Colorado, but in Chicago, in Taipei, in South Africa, in the broken home of a 14 year old girl who hates her father and holds her mother in contempt. Or in the life of someone who has it all, but cannot understand what truth really is.
It is to these people that we must go, we cannot go to them if we are arguing among ourselves, or if we are afraid to step out of our doors. Yet, He has asked us to go, He beckons us to accompany Him as He shows them a new way. It may be crazy and weird, but that is only because we are not used to it. It's not about preaching to them, or finding out all about their sin. It is about showing them a way out of their pain, about helping them to see the good and beauty in life. Not the tainted beauty of the world, but the true beauty of what is good and right and true. The beauty of innocent love, of creating something with your own two hands, the beauty of helping someone because you want to. I read the Bible not because I must, but because it is a miraculous and beautifully written book. The nature of God in it has the power to change you forever.
Perhaps today as you say your prayers and go about your errands you can remember that life is a thing worth living, because there is a God who is worth loving, and it is in His love that evil will fall, because there is a light that shines in the darkness, and that light is the life of man. He came in love, that He might be broken, that we might be saved. If we will begin to understand this, then perhaps, one day, others will too. 

My Mom

Todays blog is about my Mom. It is her birthday today, and I have spent the whole day praying for and thinking about her, and I just wanted to tell you all some things about her. My mom is one of the most selfless people I know. She rarely does anything for herself, and she is always thinking about and doing everything she can for us kids. She always shows love, kindness and forgiveness, and whats more, she is full of wisdom and grace. I am constantly amazed. She always tells us that "when a kid is being really bad, what they need is a hug." and then there are times when you are the one that is being bad and don't even know why, and she gives you a hug. She always practices what she preaches. She has never once said something negative about her children that was not meant as a loving correction. 

Although it has not always been easy, we have had our share of struggles, she has always remained positive, and taught all of us to be thankful in every circumstance. There have been times when I had no clue what to do, and I will ask her advice, and in one sentence she has done away with my problem. My mom is not the kind of person that thrives in the crowd, or one that has grace for people to go on and on about their problems, but I have seen her be very gracious in both situations. Her heart is always  to do what is right and good, and to follow the Lord, even if that means that she has to do something that looks silly or stupid, or even offensive to some people. 

She has changed the lives of many people, and has asked nothing of them but that they seek the Lord and do what He asks of them. I hope one day that I can be a mother like her. I just wanted you all to know that.

Bandung

I have been here now for almost a week, and it has been a wonderful experience. I have been re-adjusting to the culture and the way of life here, and I am finding that it is not as hard as I was thinking that it would be. There have been a few challenges...getting used to having chilly first thing in the morning and things like that, but for the most part it has been pretty good. 

We have been in a neighboring city called Subang for the past few days visiting Vonnys' family and helping them with their business. We passed a hill after hill of tea gardens, and yesterday we went to a waterfall to go swimming. I believe that there are some things that really are worth an hour and half in the car for 15 minutes in the water. There really is nothing quite like it. At the Tea Gardens

I have been so appreciative of Vonny and her family, they have not made me feel in the way, or like they did not want me here, in fact they have been having fun trying to figure out which English word to use in order to say what they want to say to me. I have really been enjoying my time. It has been a lot of laughter, food and bran new experience mixed with re-visitation of things that I enjoyed the last time. 

Today we are headed back to Bandung, and will possibly take a side rout and see the volcano here. I am really not sure how the rest of my time here will pan out, but I have no doubt that it will be good. I have had some really good times of prayer, and I have also made some really good connections with the people here.  I love and miss you all and I am praying for you all the time. I will post again soon. Love, Steph. 

First Thoughts

I am finally back! It took me a while, roughly 38 hours of traveling before I got here, but here I am. My emotions have been a little up and down, missing family, wondering what the heck I am doing, and utter joy and excitement to be here. I did not realize how much I really love it. I was talking to my mom last night and telling her that there are many things not to love about Indonesia, and yet I love it. Of course there are still other places that I want to go, and there are some things that I will have to get used to again, but for now, I am happy.
After getting off the airplane in Jakarta I made it pretty quickly through immigration, and with a little more difficulty, found my friend Meidy who was to pick me up. We got something to eat, and then got on the bus to head for Bandung....which, due to traffic, took us five hours instead of the allotted two and a half. Yesterday was mostly resting, and a little bit of time out and about, and I think today will be similar. I don't usually have jet lag, but I think I do a little bit this trip. It is hard for me to sleep past 6:30, and I start to really want to go to bed around 8pm, but hopefully that won't last long.
I have a nice little room here, and though I don't know the day to day plan I think that it will be a really good three weeks here in Bandung. I am remembering the language, and the way daily life goes, and I don't think it will take me long to get back into the flow of everything. I know that this would not be possible without your support and prayers. I love you all very much. Talk to you soon. View outside of my window.