Like a Duck Out of Water

It is no secret that I don't really fit into this culture, or this country. I am a head taller than most people, my hair is blond, my eyes are blue, and I like to hug my friends on Sunday mornings instead of just shaking hands. I don't speak the language (yet) I don't understand the "Whys" and "Hows"  that I am faced with every day. I can't drive myself anywhere, and the public transportation is literally sometimes a little bit too small (although I do fit, I just have to either sit sideways or not stand up all the way). 

I am here to learn and to teach, to inspire and to pray. I am here to build relationships and build the Kingdom, but before this I had very little experience in; public speaking, preaching, praying over people, having a lot of friends, teaching, getting where I need to go by myself, or living anywhere that spoke another language. Needless to say, there are days when I feel that I am a duck out of water. 

The trick to learning a language is remembering to be patient with yourself, while at the same time working very hard to improve as fast as you can. The trick to teaching a language is getting them to try and use it more and more so that they can learn. I have to say that I don't know which trick is harder, while the one is purely self motivated, the other requires a mix of intuition, spontaneity, cleverness, and practicality. Preaching and praying for people, thought sometimes nerve wracking, is still doable...but when it is in another country, you have to remember to use words that the translator can understand, and structure your sentences in such a way that the congregation will understand when it is done being translated. Getting around is ok, but it is still difficult, and I often ask a friend to go with me. As for the relationships...that is a whole other subject entirely. 

Making friends was never something I was good at, I am not always sure why, but it has always been difficult not only to make them, but then to keep them as friends after a while. Something always seems to go wrong. As I have been here I have been learning a lot about making friends. The language barrier seems to both hinder and help. It hinders in that it makes good communication difficult, but it helps in that sometimes things that shouldn't be said aren't. The problem I am now facing with it is that I so wish to go deeper, because I know that I am an introverted person, and that if you are going to really get to know me, it will take time and effort and usually a lot of talking. 

I think everyone can understand when I say that people usually have a lot more to give than they know what to do with, I feel like that. I feel that there are certain things that I not only know how to do, but am good at, and there are other things that I am just not good at...unfortunately, most of the time the things that I am not good at have to be in place before the things that I am good at can come out and be established. And yet, I know that it is God who sent me here, I know that He has a purpose in what I am doing, and I trust Him enough to know that he picked the right person for the job. So, I guess I will just have to give everything to Him in prayer, and risk looking like a fool sometimes. Perhaps this duck will learn to fly.