There are some days here that are harder than others, the past few have been like that. Sometimes the lack of understanding is heightened, sometimes the lack of communication seems exasperating, and the slowness of learning a language is frustrating. I know that it takes time, and actually I am learning fast, but there are days when I feel like I simply cannot do what I need to do.
I know that God is good, and even this week one of my students came to my room just because they did not want to be alone...after 15 minutes they released their heart to me and asked me to pray, we talked and prayed for the better part of an hour and there were a lot of tears. I am so happy to help, in any way that I can but I just wish I could do more.
There are so many things that I wish I could do, so many things that I see that need done, and all that I can seem to do is wish that I could fix it. I spend a lot of time praying and studying, and usually I am good with that, in the knowledge that it is preparation unto a greater end, but that end has seemed to be very far in the future this week.
There are a lot of good things going on, and I have been incredibly busy this week, but every spare moment I am fighting to keep my joy. I have been meditating on the things I have to be thankful for, reading my Bible, praying...everything I am 'supposed' to do. I guess I am just asking you all to keep me in prayer. I am trying to decipher from my head, my heart, and my emotions, and act on what I know is true, and what I know is right and good. I am trying to let go of things that don't matter, and hold on to the things that do.
Sometimes Indonesia is frustrating because it seems that the people take very great offence, or make a very big deal about little things that really don't mean anything. I heard a story today about a young couple who got married within 6 months of meeting each other (one American, and one Indonesian) anyway, they wanted to wait to start a family, and the neighbors decided that she hated Indonesia so much that she refused to raise children here; another example is if I eat too little food, the cook could easily be offended. On the flip side, if they promise to do something, even a promise to their boss, that is no guarantee that it will be done, and they will probably be angry if you insist.
So please just keep me in prayer, that I would be wise and forgiving, and that I would know what to say and what to do. Please pray for Indonesia, that they would become the people and the nation that God has created them to be, that they would know what is worth getting upset over, and when your word is your word. As you go about your day, and as you say your prayers at night, think of us, because even with all of this going on I know in Whom I believe, and I know that this story doesn't only have a happy ending, but a triumphant one. All my love I send to you, see you soon.
Stephie Beth. I miss you not being here while I am here, but that is just cuz you are so darn cute and fun to be around. As I read your blog I wanted to point out that what you were describing about Indo sounded like your basic big city. i know you come from a small town, so you are not used to such a populated place. Sadly, the feeling of community gets pushed out when there are too many people. Such a big place, can make one feel very small, even if you speak the same language and know the culture. You are learning so much and getting prepared to visit or live in many a big city. I miss you sweetie...and I love being able to log into your blog and see what is going on.
ReplyDeleteI am headed over to your parent's place to help them move today. Then off my by friends house to watch "Rock of Ages" which is a movie of a musical. It's not one I particularly wanted to see, but she was so excited that I was here and she had someone to watch it with. But she called this morning and asked me what I wanted for dinner (enchiladas) so I guess I can make it through. teehee. Love you.